Tag: family

Sisters Praying

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So, usually on Wednesdays I write a bit about what Beth Moore is teaching.  Thus far I’ve focused on her series on the family which has been aired on Life Today with James and Betty Robison for the past couple of months.  There was no new part of that series played today, in fact Beth Moore wasn’t on Life Today, today.  So, I wanted to take this time to see if there were any out there who need prayer on behalf of their family?

If I can be honest, but delicate (because some of them may read this and I don’t want to embarrass or shame anyone–at all), I’d like to expose myself a little bit.   If you could know anything about me, you’d think I have it pretty together, not perfect by any means, but a pretty solid chick.  You’d never guess how much I have to overcome daily and how much I have already overcome through God’s grace and love alone.  Why?  My family of origin is quite dysfunctional, broken and in great need of redemption.

It pains me deeply when I think about all of the things my family is ridden with–alcoholism, infidelity,  jealousy, low self-image, domestic violence, drug abuse, pridefulness, lack, depression, illness, adultery, fatherlessness, and the list goes on and on and on.  It makes me very sad because these are people that I care about and who mean a great deal to me, but also because there is a such thing as generational curses and I am having to fight these demons off of me and my children so that the vicious cycle doesn’t repeat itself and satan have his way.  No.  So I pray for my family and I attach the word to them, name by name and one by one.  It starts to get over my head a bit at times and feels like too much to handle, but I have a Father who holds my whole world in His hands.  Surely He can work miracles in my family.

Perhaps there are others out there who’s family can use a little prayer?  If it’s your family or the family of someone you know, I’d love to pray for you & yours and invite you to pray for me & mine.  Please leave your prayer requests in the comments and pray for the person who commented before you.  I’ll personally pray for each prayer request left here, with pleasure.

The family is soil, fertile and rich, ready to receive good seed and a able to produce a wealthy harvest.  It is a training ground for great people to be formed and, often, the roots of  how people develop the type of relational styles they use to engage others everyday.  In families right now, both brilliant people and broken people are being formed.  God desires to reign in homes and families all over the world.  So does satan.  People get ready.  It’s time to pray.

Marriage Letters: On Loss

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Hey Huni,

I had to think about this one for a minute.  At first I was thinking, we haven’t really suffered any loss.  But then I remembered that we walked down the aisle in complete bliss and love but our faces were still moist from fresh fallen tears due to the hurt from mourning Grandma Willie Mae.  A few short months later, we were back at it again when we loss Granddaddy WJ.  And recently when I cried and said goodbye to Linda, you were there with hugs and prayers and “It’s gonna be okay” enough that I believed you.  So, we have experienced real loss as we said goodbye to people who had been in your life all of your life but who made an indelible mark on me in such a short time and vice versa.

But some how I felt that I should dig a little deeper and really think about other ways that we have experienced loss.  And I don’t mean to whine because by God’s grace we have had such a blessed life, but we have certainly had some losses from which to recover.  One that comes to mind is when we were expecting Izzie, had just moved back to NC from MD and there was just no money. None.  And the promise of money was like a watermark; hard to decipher and very uncertain.  Times were hard, but then they got harder!!  Whew!!  The threats and losses almost overwhelmed us.  The loss of peace of mind, security, and, at times, faith, was a sure sign of how much trust we needed to gain.  I am so thankful for you and how you stood strong, a man, the man, taking care of us and doing whatever it took to make sure that we were okay.  More than your efforts though, I appreciate your walk with Christ because that is what gave us strength to keep looking for hope when all signs read “Give up!”

I wouldn’t dare downplay losing comfort in comparison to losing people.  To lose any person is a priceless and irreplaceable loss. We face that every time we visit 410.  I am so thankful that I got to lose comfort with you first, though.  Having those extremely hard times with you made me feel a little safer in the case of a more tragic loss.  I have an example of how you’ll handle yourself and an illustration of your heart.  Lord knows that loss is not a way that I would choose to experience Him but I thank Him for you and pray that He’ll allow me to keep you when loss knocks again.  I’ve been learning so much about how God chooses to show us His love and you are one of the ways.  I’m grateful that I get to hold your hand to take some of the sting out of loss.  Thanks for all the ways you’ve been there so far.

Loving you,

pamela t.

Next Monday will be my last letter in this series.  This has really been some sweet writing for my marriage.  I am grateful to share it with whomever chooses to read it.  There are some other really good letters out there that have pulled me toward my husband in real ways and they may be a joy and a help for you to read as well.  Take a look at http://therunamuck.com/2012/04/23/marriage-letters-on-loss/.

Black Bean Burgers! Ole!

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My huni and I recently watched “Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead.”  For those of you who haven’t seen it, it’s a documentary about a man who started a small revolution when he realized that by changing his eating habits, he could not only lose weight, but he could become healthier to the point of getting off of medication that was sustaining his life after being inflicted with a very serious autoimmune disease.  His idea was to go on a juice fast for 60 days during which time he would only consume fresh fruits and veggies, slid through a juicer.  It’s a very inspiring movie and we really enjoyed it. By the end, I was rooting for one of the guys and I nearly cried near the end.  For reals.

After watching it, E got all kinds of ideas about what we should be doing and what our family eating habits should be.  Mostly, we have pretty healthy eating habits but he wanted more.  So we settled on making a drastic change and decided we would become (mostly) pescatarian (hey, I loves me some Bojangle’s!!  I can’t COMPLETELY give it up!! . . .right now).  It’s been tough coming up with recipes because it requires a lot more thought but I’m pulling out some oldies but goodies to get us started.  Last night, I got in the kitchen and made some black bean burgers and homeade tortilla chips.  Thought I’d share the recipe.

Black bean Burgers:

1 tall can black beans (I used a 26.5 oz can which yielded about 8 burgers)

1/2 cup bread crumbs

2 eggs

fresh cilantro (you decide how much; if you love cilantro, go crazy, if you like it, use about a handful)

2 tsp cumin

dash of salt

dash of pepper

dash of onion poweder

dash of garlic powder

(by dash, I mean to taste, you decide how much you’d like based on how well seasoned you’d like your burgers and how you’d like for them to taste)

whole wheat tortillas

shredded cheese (optional)

Olive Oil

Salsa Sauce:

1 tbsp sour cream

2 tsbp salsa

Chips:

Corn Tortillas

Olive Oil

Kosher Salt

For the burgers:

  • Gather all ingredients into a bowl.
  • Using a blender, mix all ingredients until a nice, well blended mixture forms.

        

  • Pat out burgers to desired size.
  • Heat olive oil in a warm skillet and place burgers into skillet, about three at a time depending on the size of the skillet.
  • Cook burgers on each side for about 3 minutes. (If you try to flip too soon, the burgers will fall apart. If you flip too late, they may be a little charred, but still tasty.)

  • In a separate pan, place a bit of butter (or non stick spray) in a pan and begin to toast the whole wheat tortilla.
  • (optional) As the tortilla is toasting, add a bit of cheese to each side so that it may melt simultaneously with the toasting tortilla.

  • As the burgers finish up, take them out of the pan and place them onto a lined pan to drain (won’t be much draining happening but excess oil will be collected by the lined pan).
  • Then, choose one burger patty and place it onto the toasting tortilla.
  • Add the special sauce and continue toasting to desired color and texture then close the burger!

        

For the Salsa Sauce:

  • Simply stir salsa into sour cream and there ya go!

        

For the Chips:

  • Using a pizza cutter, slice approx three corn tortillas at a time into desired chip size.

  • Place cut chips onto a lined baking pan.
  • Drizzle chips with olive oil (as much or as little as desired) and sprinkle with salt.

  • Place chips in a 400 degree oven and bake for 10 minutes or until desired brown, crispy goodness!

            

The verdict . . .

      

With a little help from my Pinterest board “Healthy Biology,” maybe I can keep this up.  Check it out:  http://pinterest.com/pamelovely/healthy-biology/

Would love to see what else is out there and for you to share your recipes with me!

Try Thankfulness Instead

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There are many things to complain about.  Most often when we complain it seems so legitimate.  Righteous even.  But it’s not.  And it never, ever makes anything better.  At least not for me.  See, watch:

1.  I am so tired.

2.  I couldn’t complete any of the things I wanted to get done today.

3.  That girl was so rude to be using her phone while trying to serve me at the check-out line at the grocery store.

4.  I’m getting so frustrated with my family and all of our drama.

5.  More dishes in the sink for me to wash?!  I just finished washing two piles!

Anybody feeling better?  Me neither.  Okay, now watch this:

150.  While my girls were napping, I enjoyed reading a page turner and it was thrilling!

151.  Spending time laughing with Nit and KiKi.

152.  Seeing Iz light up at the sight of her cousins, no matter how many times she sees them.

153.  Peanut butter Cheerios.

154.  A chance to see God move on behalf of my family as I intercede on their behalf.

155.  Hot, running water with which to wash my dishes.

156.  A visit from Mini, complete with dinner, conversation and giggles.

157.  DeeDee’s trust and vulnerability.

158.  KiKi’s new journey to NCCU.

159.  Calvin’s new journey to ECU.

160.  Victory seen on the hopeful faces of two soon-to-be high school graduates, both college bound.

161.  Restored relationships.

162.  Jamaica, serving me ice cream while she ate liver.

163.  Leaping into the wind at the sensing of the presence of courage and fearlessness . . .couldn’t miss the chance . . .couldn’t let them pass me by.

164.  Lisa and Sarah.

165.  Growth.

166.  Determination to pay down more debt.

167.  A plan.

168.  A weekend home with my family.

169.  Honesty.

170.  Expectation.

and the list goes on . . . try counting blessings the next time you want to complain. . . I really do feel so much better!!

As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible.  Joy is always possible.Whenever, meaning–now ; wherever, meaning–here.  The holy grail of joy is not in some exotic location or some emotional mountain peak experience.  The joy wonder could be here!  Here, in the messy, piercing ache of now, joy might be–unbelievably–possible! ~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

See my running list here:  https://pamelluce.com/my-one-thousand/

 

photo found on google, from myfitclinic.com

Wednesdays with Beth

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Beth Moore was back on Life Today, today, with part six of the series Family Calamity and Restoration (http://lifetoday.org/video/family-calamity-and-restoration-part-6).  Point 6:  God can add to your family.  Point 7:  Christ can bring honor back to the family.  The overall message that she gave was something that was on my heart last night, laid with me and slept heavy on my mind even through my dreams and greeted me as soon my eyes opened this morning.

Once a month, the second Tuesday of each month to be exact, I slide out of my home after the girls are quietly lying in bed pondering their day, the way little people do, to meet with other moms.  Together we gather, tired and excited to be together, yearning for fellowship, connection, answers, hope.  We share little bits of our lives, we laugh, we cry.  We each slip in and out of vulnerability, easily, and, I believe, we walk away fuller just for having gathered together.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25)

Each time we gather we have a topic to discuss.  Last night it was how do we, amidst starting families, ministering, having careers, raising families,  make time to spend with the Lord.  I shared about how I am in this season of life where it seems like everything is hard.  It’s hard to get up in the morning, hard to get out of bed, hard to lay down at night.  Hard.  Everything.  And, because of this, how necessary it is for me to connect with my Savior daily, and best first thing in the morning, before I step foot out of the bed as a reminder that He is there with me, in that moment, and that He will continue to be with me throughout my day, moment by moment.

After I said this, I went on talking with some of the women throughout the night and I heard my words echoed back to me.  Either they were in agreement, could feel where I was coming from because they had been there, were currently there, or they simply couldn’t relate.  I thought about the ones that couldn’t relate.  I thought about the ones who said they knew and had been there.  I thought about myself and how I have been singing this song of desperation for some time now.  This having a hard time song.  And why am I still singing it?  Why have I not overcome and passed over from hard times to good times?  What’s going on, Lord?  I’m so, so thankful for the gathering because without them, it would have taken me just a little while longer to come to this:  I have not surrendered my hard time to the Lord.  I have not embraced my hard time as weakness, have not cherished the opportunity for a 2 Corinthians 12:9 moment each day, moment by moment.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I writhe and wiggle and struggle to produce a good day, each day, and each day I get frustrated and come up unsatisfied because I have not surrendered, truly surrendered to my Psalm 46:1 God

 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Selah.  And I need to Selah my way through my day, moment by moment by moment to give my God a chance to rescue me, instead of me rushing in to figure all of this out by myself.  I need to push, but I need to push in a Psalm 121 sort of way.  I need to adjust my vision and really see.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Beth Moore spoke today about other forms of family.  Perhaps you need to tap into the family that God has provided for you that is right in front of you.  It may be your family of origin.  It may be a community of people outside of your family.  It may be both.  It be several forms of both.  Surely He desires for you to be connected through community.  Figure out who and what that is and get plugged in.  You may be missing life and, due to your absence, so may they.

Thank you, Lord, for the community of moms who help me see you more clearly.

Marriage Letters: On the Names I Call You

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So, Monday came and went and I didn’t get a chance to post but I still wanted to write my marriage letter, because this is something I really believe in.  As best said by Amber over on www.therunamuck.com, “Call your marriage what it really is. Every Monday in April we’re writing letters because we believe that when we bless our own marriage, we bless the marriages of others.”  I’m right there with you, sista.  Check out some other letters here:  http://therunamuck.com/2012/04/09/marriage-letters-on-the-names-i-call-you/  Would love for you to join me and share your marriage letters on her site!

Dear Huni,

That’s my most favorite name to call you, Hunibun, because you really are so, so sweet.  I remember this particular point in our relationship, after we had been dating for a while, and your character had remained consistently honey-sweet, I asked you how long it would last.  I expected that just like all the others, it would soon run out and you’d be just like all the others.  But not you.  You’ve remained one of the sweetest, most consistent, most wonderful people that I have ever known.  Thank you for that.  Hunibun.

When I saw this topic, I knew exactly what I wanted to post for my letter.  I wanted to post an actual video of the song, but YouTube failed me (they had one, but not one that I liked enough to post here for you).  So, go and listen to Brandy sing He Is and know that, exactly what she says, as I said to you so many years ago, you are to me.  I know you’ll remember this. . . Prince Charming, angel, friend, lover, my one . . .  And more.  I love you.

Love,

pamjam, cornbread, babycakes, bae, your wife.

Wednesdays with Beth

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So, so far on Wednesdays I’ve written about Beth Moore’s teachings, godly wisdom and insights and you can probably expect that I’ll do that every Wednesday.  For the past few weeks she’s been talking about family and the work that we have to do when we face strife and conflict with our family in a series of talks called Family Calamity and Restoration on Life Today with James and Betty Robison.  Today, Life Today did not air a new taping of the series, they re-aired part 4 of the, so far, 5 part series.  In case you’ve missed any of it, I would highly recommend checking it out.  I’ve placed all five parts here:

Part 1:  http://lifetoday.org/video/family-calamity-and-restoration-part-1

Part 2: http://lifetoday.org/video/family-calamity-and-restoration

Part 3:  http://lifetoday.org/video/family-calamity-and-restoration-part-3

Part 4:  http://lifetoday.org/video/family-calamity-and-restoration-part-4-2

Part 5:  http://lifetoday.org/video/family-calamity-and-restoration-part-5

And here are the five main points she’s made so far:

1.  Any family can have calamity.

2.  Family calamity is never uncomplicated.

3.  Family calamity often involves consequences.

4.  Family calamity does not have to be terminal.

5.  Even if relationships don’t heal, you can heal.

When I noticed that there was not a new part today, I was going to recap the last five parts and highlight those bits that I found to be life giving.  Instead, as I went through the series today, I became so intrigued by the bible story from which she’s teaching that I decided I’d take the rest of today and this week to read it.  It’s mostly coming from 2 Samuel 7, 13, 14, and 15 but instead of skipping around, I’m going to read all of 2 Samuel (and maybe 1 Samuel too, but that may be a little ambitious to do by next week with these two little girls I’m raising . . . we’ll see).

My times with Beth have been so rich, and I appreciate her fervor for the Lord.  He beckons me to dig in and get some of it directly from Him, not just through Beth.  That’s one of the reasons why I admire her so much.  She makes it clear that she is just a vessel through which His word and work may choose to flow.  She’s been through so much and I don’t pity her.  I rejoice in the face of her trials because right now, she is living such a triumphant life and I can sense the encouragement of the Lord gently saying, “My dear Pammie, all that you and your family have been through was not for naught.  Give me all of you, your whole story and watch me make glory out of what you think is gory.  Let me make you triumphant too.”  So, that’s what I’m gonna do!

For reals, if you haven’t already seen the videos, you don’t wanna miss it.  Check it out.  Here’s one of my favorite quotes so far (I have so many of ’em!!):

“People are going to think about us, alright.  But we do get to have something to do with what they think.  Maybe they can think that we’re a wonder.  Maybe they can think that we’re a miracle.”

Marriage Letters: On Serving Together

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Hey Huni,

Remember I told you that I would be writing you letters each Monday in April on my blog?  Well, today’s letter is on serving together.  He’s in it, right?!!?

We’ve been talking about this so much lately as we try to figure out how He wants to use us and what He wants our family, as a unit, to stand for, and here He is in this moment encouraging me to think about this and get the conversation going again.  I just love the Lord.  I really appreciate Him pursuing us and making it a little bit easier for us to know His will for our lives.  While we are praying and waiting to hear from Him on this, I thought that I would spend a few minutes in my letter to you talking about the ways we serve together right now.

It seems like we’ve done a great deal of serving together though it might tend to fly under the radar.  Our marriage is ministry and it feeds directly into the hearts of our baby girls.  The care that we show to one another and the energy that we put into our marriage facilitates our ability to be the kind of shepherding-parents the Lord would have us to be.  I love you so, so much Emmanuel.  I am so grateful that the Lord saw fit to bless me with you.  You truly are a gift, a promise manifested of being able to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Being married to me is not always easy because I do not always handle being a wife gracefully, but thank you so much for always fighting for me and for our marriage.  You are my warrior prince and our union rests in good hands with you. (hey, you give the Allstate man a run for his money!–you know, you’re in good hands with Allstate :0))

Our children are our ministry.  We work so hard with those two!  Whew!!  You and I both know that they are sweet, gifted and heaven sent but I appreciate having you by my side reminding me of it everyday.  Thank you for going to work everyday even though your heart beats for full time ministry in a different capacity.  Thank you for that sacrifice for our family ministry.  Thank you for coming home ready to be with us and enjoy us even though I know that you are tired from a long day of work.  Thank you for working so hard, huni.  As the leader of this ministry, you do a great job!  The girls and I are grateful, happy and we feel so blessed, cared for and protected by God through you.  Each day we have the opportunity to approach the world carefree and I get to take the time to pour into them and pull them into our vision so that they can grow into the women that God would have them to be.  And it starts with your diligence and determination to make our family be a vision of our resurrected savior. We are a force, the four of us.  Attitude, reflects leadership, captain. ;0)  (~Julius Campbell, Remember the Titans)

Lisa Bevere said (something like) “A woman who knows her purpose is not easily distracted.” And I’d have to say that that must be true for a marriage as well.  I’ve told you before that you are radical in the way you think. I’m not sure what’s our next move.  We have the bible study on Thursday nights, we have ministry with our extended family, our friends, our jobs, and our desires for other ministry opportunities.  We serve together in so many capacities.  It’s tough but it’s sweet.  There’s no telling where your radical mind and the Lord’s will will take us from here, but if we stay focused on Him and diligent to pursue our purpose . . .ain’t no mountain high enough.  I love you E.T.

pamela t.

See more marriage letters here:  http://therunamuck.com/2012/04/02/marriage-letters-on-serving-together/

Here is the note from Amber, the author of the blog that really encouraged me to join her and the others in this endeavor:  Please do join Seth, Joy, Scott, and me as we hold our marriages up to the light. Call your marriage what it really is. Every Monday in April we’re writing letters because we believe that when we bless our own marriage, we bless the marriages of others.

Happily Humble

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I am Thanksgiving Day full of joy from this weekend!  Friday was my birthday so my parents (in-law) came up to spend the weekend taking care of the girls so that I could rest and my huni took the day off to hang out with me. (sweeeet, right?)  We saw a movie, did some light shopping, ate frozen yogurt and topped off the night having dinner with friends.

Then for Saturday he had secretly spoken to my family and friends and arranged a surprise party in my honor!!  It was wonderful!!  We ate some yummy food, danced, danced, danced, laughed, laughed and laughed some more and just had an all around good time.  One of my sisters came in from out of town, my aunts and cousins pulled together and made the food, decorated my home and really set the atmosphere for a book lover’s themed party.  And then, some of them pitched in and bought me a Nook!!!  (cheering, smiling, crying, fist pumping, so excited!!)  I am so grateful for my family and friends.  This weekend was wonderful.


I know that there are great things happening in other people’s lives.  At the same time there are people with great, basic needs and a Nook may seem such a trivial thing to cheer about.  This was not necessarily a milestone birthday . . .yet . . .I am so happy and so grateful because some people I care about took a bit of their time and resources to show how much they care about me.  I needed that.

I often get so caught up in trying to deny my need for people and my longing for connection.  It’s a rallying theme with many familiar mantras:  “Be strong!,” “Be independent!,” “Go for yours!”, do whatever you can to uphold the front that you are sufficient in and of yourself.  Deny vulnerability because vulnerability is a sure sign of weakness, and weakness is not favorable.  Yowza!!!  And it is this very attitude that has made me feign strength and nurture pridefulness.  I feel so much better when I offer help than I do when I receive it.  The issue is that this has little to do with my tender, giving heart but more to do with the rancid stench of pride compromising anything good that I attempt to do.  And what I’ve noticed is that I can be this way with God.  (ouch)  I remember one time talking to Emmanuel (my husband) telling him that I didn’t want to have to run to God for every little thing; I wanted to be able to show Him that I could handle some things on my own.  (covering my face with my hands)  Missing the big problem in my statement?  God never intended for me to live independent from Him.  He wants me to depend on Him for every little thing.  And most times He’ll use people to help me and give me what I want and need.  If I isolate myself and set myself up as this super-Pam who needs no one and can handle everything, I dismiss God, I dismiss His people and I dismiss myself because I am not giving myself a chance to receive from God.

This birthday weekend, my need wasn’t gifts, neither food nor shelter.  My needs were rest, peace, joy, and love.  And the Lord saw fit to use my family and friends to fill me to the measure.  And I reveled in it.  And I am full.  Thanksgiving Day full.  For reals.


Love Letter to the Women Who Mean So Much to Me

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I think that the term best friend has lost some of its flavor.  Back in the day-day, best friends were as distinguishable as the smell of curry in the hallway of a diverse apartment building in D.C.  If a girl said that someone was her best friend, you could best believe that the two of them would be melded together like the sweet, sticky syrup to the dough on a cherry pastry.  And consistently so–no matter what!  They’d take on each other’s personalities, look out for each other, and fight (of course), but they would essentially create a world made just for the two of them, through which they would freely and creatively express themselves and in which they would endeavor to live for the rest of their lives.

But now it seems like a BFF has been reduced to a fad, the latest trend.  And as her ability to accessorize with your life changes, so do the ideals of friendship.  For some people, that term-BFF needs to be amended to BFFN–Best Friend For Now!  And I am so sad to report that there are even some of us who can’t say that we have very many friends at all–much less a best friend.  I hear so many women proudly say, “I don’t do women.  I prefer to deal with men, ’cause women are just too much.”  And I think that’s just a shame.  I really believe that we are a reflection of each other and if we refuse to unite then what side of ourselves are we giving each other to reflect upon?  And why are we okay with that?

Well, I have come as the BF Fairy to restore your faith in friendship!  (get excited) One fateful day (some years ago today, in fact), the giver of all good and perfect gifts opened up the windows of heaven and poured me out a blessing , and even now, this woman is my ride or die, tried and true homie. I am so grateful that I get to call my mom one of my dearest, bestest, good friends.  I’ve shared my whole, whole, life with her.  She’s seen me inside and out, ugly and beautiful and yet she still loves me.  And she still chooses me, day after day.  She calls me, just to talk, just to know what’s going on with me and to share what’s going on in her life, with me.  She trusts me.  She was careful not to befriend me too soon.  She did me the honor of making sure that I had her love as my mommy before she ever thought of me as a friend.  And it’s because of her that I can dream impossible dreams and pray with faith that the Lord will sift through them and give me what He deems best for me.  She is one of  the most sweet-hearted women I’ll ever know.  I’ve never seen strength and vulnerability contained so beautifully in a person as with my mom.  She’s my shoulder to cry on, laughing buddy, prayer partner, my biggest fan.  And I would not be who I am today if it were not for her.  There is no tribute effective enough to do her justice.  You’d have to meet her to know that these few words were a meager attempt and only hint at the wonder of God’s goodness that she personifies.  She’s inspiration and aspiration to all things higher and greater.  My mommy.

I have a friend who, over the years, has transcended as more than my friend–she is my sister.  I can try to minimize our relationship to words just so that I can tell you exactly how and why it’s been as sweet as it is and still the best that I can say is that in her heart, there I sit–along with her mother, her family, the greatest loves of her life and her darling baby girls.  Her actions toward me have been the spokesperson for these sentiments.  She’s always wanted me to be a part of her life and she has done her share of the work to make it happen.  She tells me all the time that she is going to be the Gayle to my Oprah and this is not because she is settling for being a Gayle until she finds her inner Oprah but because she believes in me wholeheartedly and she gives me the strength, courage and wisdom to pitch my tent among the stars while I rest and dream on a cloud.  I can see the beauty of who I am, and who I aspire to be, naturally reflected in the light of her essence.  She’s been like a mother’s love–comforting, correcting, and sacrificing so that I can be, me.  Of course we’ve had our fights and our friendship has suffered some turmoil.  I’ve wanted to slam and suplex her but I honestly cannot imagine my life without her.  She’s my BFF.

But here’s the real doozy:  I have so many wonderfully incredible women in my life who, through the years and even right now, have deeply effected who I am.  In some cases they have been better to me than I to them.  There is so much grace in that.  I am a big ole mess and if anyone were to decide to give up on me, I couldn’t hold an argument worthy of making them change their mind.  But I’ve got some sit-ins-at-the-lunch-counter-during-the-civil-rights-movement kind of women in my life!  They shall not be moved!!  Each woman who I have the privilege of calling mine in any capacity is a representation of the truth I seek as I grow and develop as a woman of integrity, a woman of grace, a woman of standard, a woman of God.  They not only are friends, they are goals, for if I can but strive to attain the beauty of self and character that these women possess I just may become the first real-life superwoman.  Yes, I love my best friend and her light shines brightly in my life but the evolution of my refinement is continued in the summer, spring, winter and fall that are all of my friends and some of the women in my family and church as well.

Through my life I celebrate you all–a beautyFULL, spring bouquet in the center of an elegant table setting.  You allow me to adorn myself in the petals of your love and grace and in so doing you have given me the confidence to sashay about with confidence in this harsh, judgemental, mean world.  As my stilettos leave holes in the ground, I continue your legacy, inviting those who come behind me to plant a seed in fertile soil–the results of which will be deep, strong roots and the rich, succulent fruit of God’s productivity yielded through me from you.

And all of this– not simply because of me but because God loved me so much that he specifically and thoughtfully placed all of you in my life.