Category: marriage letters

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It was a beautiful, bright, winter Saturday.  The kind where the air is crisp and wet, thick with the anticipation of some wintry mix threatening to keep everyone inside, fireside bound for the whole of the day.  Except the bright boldness of the sun dared anyone to mention inclement weather, as she spread all her rays out over the earth like a mama’s proud arms, welcoming her babies in to the warmth, love and comfort that only a mama can assure.  Yes, the sun was working her magic and wooing all of the women as they excitedly dressed and prepared to go and wish well another Darling, preparing herself to take on a new last name and a basket full of responsibilities to go along with it.  They were all so excited that though aware of the blue temperatures outside, they were motivated to be with her, share with her, celebrate her and tell her exactly how to be the best wife possible to this lucky man.  So excited they were, in fact, and having done this several times before for a friend, a niece, sister, cousin, that they got caught up in the excitement and familiarity of it all and forgot to consult with their their editor and manager about what they should say.  Surely He cares that much about us, to inform us on how to inform others about how to do His will?!?!  Yet they sauntered out there, laughing, playing happy games, conversing amongst themselves, sipping the sweet, inviting nectar of joy and eating the tenderly baked, enticing confections of comfort and started talking out of turn.  Their guards were down–which can be one of the worse times to speak aloud at all, especially in a group setting and especially when you haven’t spoken with your manager.

No, they weren’t rude or harsh, but they spoke more from their own heartaches and past mistakes rather than from truth.  And Darling, so eager to please and be the wife she felt her lover deserved, took it all in without a sieve.  She swallowed it all whole thinking that it’d be better to receive it all now, soak up the moment and try it out later to see for herself if these platters of advice from the kind, well-meaning women in her community, would lay softly on the palate of her intended.

Seeing that she was a hungry girl, and wanting her to do well in this call, they talked more and more and became braver in their offerings, leaving no room in the house untouched.  From the Kitchen to the laundry room to the bedroom, Darling was told exactly what her man would like and wouldn’t like, and how she should conduct herself if she wanted to stay married. Shucks, it got so good in there that even the younger, unmarried school girls started placing their offerings before her, as if they knew anything about this scared calling for themselves except for what they had been warned against or had seen played out in some version the Housewives franchise.  They meant well. . .

No one seemed to notice that Darling’s once bright, anxious, joyful eyes had now dropped to a half moon, wandering, listless stare.  And those that did notice figured that she was probably just getting tired and wanted to open gifts.

Not all of the talk was unproductive and unedited but one of the comments that I think dimmed her light a bit came from the back of the room, an auntie, older, respected, and thought to be wiser than most of them said,

 “Don’t tell your business.  If anything happens in your marriage, keep that between you and your husband.  Don’t tell people what’s going in your relationship because you’ll choose to forgive him and they won’t.”

If I were a betting woman, I would bet you that all across the world, there is some version of this same bit of advice being told to women all over the world.  But is it biblical?

It just doesn’t make a great deal of sense to me.

Darling finds herself in the position of being recognized as that “good thing” that the gentleman has been searching for.  She is so excited about being with this man and so she sets out to plan her wedding, for some, the day of her dreams.  As she plans, she chooses the women who will stand closest to her on that day.  They smile, cry, tilt heads to the side, clutch hearts and prepare for months of sentimentality and love, anxious for the big day.  Then, after the day has come, they have all celebrated, eaten cake and burned it off with the Cupid Shuffle and the Electric Slide, the couple drives off into the sunset to live happily ever after . . . and the supporting cast members are supposed to just walk away and stay out of their business?

No.  I think we’ve got this all wrong.

I don’t believe that you should share your business with just anybody just as much as I believe that you shouldn’t have just anybody in your wedding.  Marriage is sacred and we should treat it as such from the moment we start dating.

The bible speaks often about community and how we are to conduct ourselves as we live in community with each other.  One example is in Galatians 6:2 encouraging us to: “Carry each others burdens…”

I should be able to talk to a select few women in my life, or perhaps one woman, who is close to me, loves me, sincerely cares about me and my marriage when I am happy and when I am struggling to be the wife who respects her husband as I am called to do in Ephesians.  I should be able to go to her and trust that she will keep my confidence and lead me to the throne to receive help and healing for my heart, mind and marriage.

Now, to be clear, I do believe that our first move should always be toward the Lord, in prayer.  We shouldn’t ever get into the habit of running to friends and family for help when our God has already set Himself up as everything that we need.  But the place where most people get mixed up is in forgetting that God places people in our lives who we are to grow with.  He will often use people to show us His love for us, to show us His hand of provision, and even His hand of correction can come down through the people in our lives.  Don’t shut people out because you have been told to cover your relationship like a newborn child in the middle of a war zone.  Be wise about the people you have in your life, and trust God to use them to lead you into His call for you, which is holiness.

I have some of the most amazing women in my life.   Truly.  They love me.  They like me.  They applaud me but they also challenge me.  They know who I am and they know that I aspire to be pleasing to God, so they never let me compromise that. I am free to pitch a 60 second fit but they are are there, one (and sometimes two) at a time, to gently get my head back in the game and get back on point.  They are consistent as I parent, in my friendships, my work, relationships, goals, and yes, my marriage.

I think that we should talk more about this and unravel it a bit more.  We’ve got to debunk this myth and see what the Lord has to say about it.  While it has some value for keeping the sanctity of your marriage, I believe that it has taken a turn and put more of us in bondage than anything else.  I believe that there is a reader who needs to be free and know that she just may have someone in her life that she can be completely transparent with about her marriage, to the glory of God and the edification of her and her husband.  I also believe that for some of us, it runs a little deeper and we need to clean house and get some new Frans ’cause the ones we have on staff have taken an extended, paid vacation.

Marriage Letters: On Transition

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Huni, Huni, HUNI!!!

Transition?  Huh!  It’s the story of our lives, right?!?!  We’ve been transitioning since the moment we decided to change almost everything and move our family farther away from our will for our lives and closer to His.  Every conversation had, every decision made, every box packed, every box unpacked, each tear of joy and sorrow, each goodbye and each hello, all have been another part of our transition story.  It’s been bittersweet, but it’s been a journey that both of us are so moved by, daily.

Ironically, I think that’s what has made this transition hardest for me– the “dailyness” of it all.  I haven’t began to feel yet like the transition is over.  Cool thing that happened today was that I started to feel some of my motives changing and, as a result, I gained a bit of new strength accompanied by some new brain juice to fight with.  That was really cool, really, sweet and really, very needed.  For as much as as we can realize that in the center of His will is the safest place, and for as much as we encourage each other on to great works, I am searching for level ground.  I am looking for the waves to rest and the boat to stop rocking with such a rowdy sway.  I don’t know all of what God is trying to do in us, but I do know that He is trying to make us stronger and more effective.

In the meantime, I have needed you and I have needed for our connection to be strong, steady, comforting, joyful.  I have needed you to be a place of comfort and consistency among all of the change.  Thinking about what I need and alllllll of the conversations we’ve had in efforts to make this transition smoother makes me think about what we’ve learned in this process.  Well, what have we learned, Huni?  If the Lord were to send us another couple that was transitioning in anyway, what would our testimony be at this point?  What would we tell them?  How would we encourage them?  Let’s not waste this opportunity.  transition and its tremors are often the demise of many unions.  Let’s begin to get this figured out.  I have a feeling that searching through it and getting an understanding of ourselves in this season will yield fruit not only for others transitioning, but for us.  Right now.  This sounds like a date night conversation!!!  no?  ok, lemme know!!  I love me some you!!!!!

pamela t.

Marriage Letters: On Friendship

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E 2 tha T,

That’s what your friends call you, right?  Or something related. . . ET, E, Easy . . .

I wanna be your friend.  Your best, good friend.  yeah.  Like Forrest and Bubba.

When we first met, friendship was a requirement for me.  I needed to know that you’d stick around and try to get to know me and find value in friendship with me before I let you pursue me for love.  That was my deal with basically every guy I dated but you were the one who actually took me seriously and dug through my rough places to find the diamonds that I worked so hard to hide while I protected myself from everything and everyone.  Even you.  You stuck it out with me.  You decided that if it took befriending me to get the chance to love me, then you’d be Stevie and I’d be Dionne and we’d make them think we wrote the song! Hey!  And you. were. my. friend.  For reals.  Before and during our dating relationship, we had such a sweet, deep friendship.  But . . . (yeah, there’s a “but”) . . .it’s different now.

I hear you on the phone with your friends, and I hear how hard you laugh and how much you share and I gotta admit, I get a little jealous.   I don’t feel included anymore.  I don’t feel as close to you as I know we could be and as I close to you as I want to be.  And I hear you say that I shouldn’t expect for our friendship to look like my friendships with the women in my life.  (How many times have you said, I am not Chasity!!!) And I get that.  I do.  And it’s not that I want our friendship to look like any other friendship I have but there are aspects of those relationships that I expect to see in our friendship because, I feel, our connection should be greater and deeper than any other connection I have with anyone else on earth.  And when our relationship doesn’t look like our friendship is strong, it’s discouraging because it’s a reminder of how things are different from what they used to be and that we aren’t as close as I want us to be . . .as I feel we should be.  What are we gonna do?

I don’t want to replace your other friends.  You need them, just like I need my friends.  And you know how much all of my friends mean to me.  What it is that I want, is my buddy back.  We have allowed some very good, good things to come in and squish all of the room for friendship, out.  When was the last time we played Phase 10?  Marcus still has our tennis game . . .we could play that!  I know that I can lean on you and talk to you about anything and I know that we can have a really, really fun time together, laughing until crying and talking late into the night, but it’s not our way anymore.  We happen upon these moments, or they hunt us down through circumstances but we don’t run after opportunities to find joy in each other.  Marriage is a gift for so many reasons and it’s a serious matter but I think that one of the reasons we have each other is to make life a little bit sweeter.  Friendship does that for me.  And I want us to be friends.  Best, good friends.  Like Forrest and Bubba,  David and Jonathan, Rose, Blanche, Sophia and Dorothy.

But really.  What are we gonna do?  I can’t blame you, I’ve played a big part in this too.  It was impressed upon me a few months ago that I need to be more vulnerable with you and trust you more.  uggggggggghhhhhhhh.  Two very difficult things for me to do, but I think they’re so difficult because I keep looking at you and your limitations and not the spirit of God who resides inside of you and empowers you, eliminating your limitations.  Even though you can make me madder than a wet hornet, you can bring me joy like no other.  And I just want to enjoy you more.  I don’t want our marriage to slip into the mundane and then glide into this survival, day to day mode where we just take care of each other and our children, but we don’t fully enjoy our lives together.  It seems like a sure indication that a marriage is headed down that road is when the friendship starts to wan.  I know that we are friends.  There’s not doubt about that.  And I know that we have a good time together, but I want it to be better, richer, funner!  ;0) So, here.  Let’s have a do-over-midway-start-over.  E 2 tha T, will you be my best good friend?  Check yes or no.

I love you!!

pamela t.

Marriage Letters: On Our Anniversary

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Oh, Huni.

Seven years.  Wow.  Seven years ago today we trotted our little scared but in love selves down that wide aisle, ready to give ourselves away all for the chance to love each other the rest of our lives.  We had no idea what our tomorrow would look like but we were sure that no matter what the view, we wanted to see it together.

Remember that wave of fear that rushed over us when we stepped into the vestibule, after we said I do and you planted a big one on me?  Emmanuel!  We were sooooooo scared!  Who’d a thunk it?  And I’m not even sure why.  Those few moments alone, without all the hustle and bustle of making  preparations for the wedding, without the swarm of family and friends excitedly supporting and anticipating the union, all we had was ourselves and all this love that was supposed to get us from there to eternity.

We have since learned that love, as great and important as it is, is not enough.  You need my respect as well as my love and I have learned that the more I love you and respect you, the more I participate in the Lord’s work of making you the man that He’s purposed for you to become.  I apologize for all the ways that I have not loved you and the times that I allowed myself to think that I knew better at the risk of disrespecting you.  I’m really sorry, Emmanuel.  Our marriage is a big deal to me but I am only now opening up to allow God to heal all the broken bits of my heart and while He’s doing major surgery on me (which is probably going to last a lifetime) I’ll have these bouts of hard-to-love-me and hard-to-see-my-love. It’s a side effect of brokenness.  But I’m in the fray.  And I ain’t going nowhere.  And I’m grateful to have a partner who’s as committed to this thing as I am.

So. Here we are.  Seven years later.  No longer afraid,well, at least not for the same reasons that were there seven years ago. . .

You’re my gift.  I get so humbled when I think about my little girl self and see the woman that I am today.  God is so great.  He’s so good, so incredibly sweet to me to have built me to be a woman of great strength, wisdom, and power in my own right and then put a little polish on me when he gave me you.  I’m a movement by myself but I’m a force when we’re together.  ;0)

I’ll take this seventh anniversary as a chance to tighten my grip on your hand as we  move from waltzing to marching into our purpose.  And the beauty of it is that in this season, we’re a great deal clearer about what it is and how to do it.  SO here, we go!  So excited to see what this next chapter brings.

loving loving you,

pamela t.

The Marriage Letters are Coming Back!

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So, just a few weeks ago, I went to a bridal shower given in honor of a new Fran, Ms. Jessica Orr.  It was really my pleasure and delight to spend time with her while some of the women she loves gathered to celebrate her.  She’s a sweet, funny, pretty, cRaZy woman who loves Jesus, likes to be called Jecca, and who cannot wait to marry this dear man she’s fallen in love with, Mr. Colton Janes.

There she is, kissing some other man . . . :0)

We sat talking and laughing, like ladies do at bridal showers, and she told me that she’d been on the blog.  She said that she really enjoyed the marriage letters and that she and her husband-to-be wanted to try and write marriage letters to each other once married.  :0)  So sweet, I thought to myself, and I was really encouraged that she felt so inspired by the letters.

Many of my Frans and readers have commented to me about the letters and so I thought that it would be a great idea to bring them back.  Huni and I really enjoyed them and they sparked a great deal of reflection and communication between the two of us.  Much of the hope that the originator, Amber Haines from therunamuck.com, hoped for the letters have come to pass in our marriage and others who’ve read the letters posted here.

Next Monday is our anniversary and, I felt, a great time to bring them back.  So, there it is!  The Marriage Letters are coming back!  Talking with my Fran, Rey, this weekend I got some good ideas about some topics to start me off, but I’d love to hear from any of you as well about some topics for the marriage letters.   Please leave your ideas in the comments.  For those of you who prefer, you can email me:  mrs.pthompson@gmail.com.

For more information on the marriage letters series, where it came from and why I joined and am excited to do it again, check out www.therunamuck.com, which is where I first got the idea and linked up every Monday in April, and also check the category titled “marriage letters” here on pamelluce for the letters previously written.

Marriage Letters: On Outside Influences

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Huni,

Outside influences.  This is a good one.  Well, you took away my cable.  All the good influences are now so far from me . . . I can’t hear from them like I used to . . .Kardashians, Braxtons, Ice -T and Coco . . .  :0)     joking . . . tee hee hee . . .  :0D

I’m thinking of the sweet comment you made this past Saturday about one of your closest friends, wishing that he and his wife lived closer.  I wish they lived closer too.

I’m thinking of another of your close friends who has moved away and how I saw you grow and change as the two of you grew even closer while he was here.  I’ll miss him and his wife when they have completely transitioned to their new city.

I’m thinking of the couples with whom we spend our Thursday nights, the older couples in our life and other friends who form a circle around us and cover us with their love, encouragement and prayer.  The Lord has been so good to us, blessing us with people who love us, enjoy spending time with us, pour into us and are honest with us.  We have manifestations of Proverbs 27:17  all around.  And we are sharper.

As we’re being thoughtful and prayerful about this next transition in our lives, it’s important that we have relationships with people we can trust, with whom we can share what the Lord is doing in our lives and in our hearts.  There are so many outside influences clamoring to taint our bond, so we have to cling to Christ and be open to the people He gives us and the ways He chooses to love us and guide us through them.

We are a reflection of each other and our support groups are a reflection of who we want to be and what we can become.  If we want to be great, we have to surround ourselves with greatness.  Influence is a choice, but the people and objects that influence us can be subtle and therefore blur our ability to determine when something has changed the way we think or relate.  We need to be careful and protect our hearts and minds through prayer and the word.  If our marriage is a ministry, and through it the Lord can reach people, change and save their lives, we need to be driven closer to Him and closer to each other so that we can show up for Him and be effective.

I’m so grateful for who you are and the kind of people you attract.  We have a beautiful life partly because of the beautiful people in it.

Loving loving you,

pamela t.

This concludes the marriage letters for now.  Please visit http://therunamuck.com/2012/04/29/marriage-letters-on-outside-influences/  to read more letters.  The letter written by Amber today was just plain good.  Seriously.  A must read.

Marriage Letters: On Loss

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Hey Huni,

I had to think about this one for a minute.  At first I was thinking, we haven’t really suffered any loss.  But then I remembered that we walked down the aisle in complete bliss and love but our faces were still moist from fresh fallen tears due to the hurt from mourning Grandma Willie Mae.  A few short months later, we were back at it again when we loss Granddaddy WJ.  And recently when I cried and said goodbye to Linda, you were there with hugs and prayers and “It’s gonna be okay” enough that I believed you.  So, we have experienced real loss as we said goodbye to people who had been in your life all of your life but who made an indelible mark on me in such a short time and vice versa.

But some how I felt that I should dig a little deeper and really think about other ways that we have experienced loss.  And I don’t mean to whine because by God’s grace we have had such a blessed life, but we have certainly had some losses from which to recover.  One that comes to mind is when we were expecting Izzie, had just moved back to NC from MD and there was just no money. None.  And the promise of money was like a watermark; hard to decipher and very uncertain.  Times were hard, but then they got harder!!  Whew!!  The threats and losses almost overwhelmed us.  The loss of peace of mind, security, and, at times, faith, was a sure sign of how much trust we needed to gain.  I am so thankful for you and how you stood strong, a man, the man, taking care of us and doing whatever it took to make sure that we were okay.  More than your efforts though, I appreciate your walk with Christ because that is what gave us strength to keep looking for hope when all signs read “Give up!”

I wouldn’t dare downplay losing comfort in comparison to losing people.  To lose any person is a priceless and irreplaceable loss. We face that every time we visit 410.  I am so thankful that I got to lose comfort with you first, though.  Having those extremely hard times with you made me feel a little safer in the case of a more tragic loss.  I have an example of how you’ll handle yourself and an illustration of your heart.  Lord knows that loss is not a way that I would choose to experience Him but I thank Him for you and pray that He’ll allow me to keep you when loss knocks again.  I’ve been learning so much about how God chooses to show us His love and you are one of the ways.  I’m grateful that I get to hold your hand to take some of the sting out of loss.  Thanks for all the ways you’ve been there so far.

Loving you,

pamela t.

Next Monday will be my last letter in this series.  This has really been some sweet writing for my marriage.  I am grateful to share it with whomever chooses to read it.  There are some other really good letters out there that have pulled me toward my husband in real ways and they may be a joy and a help for you to read as well.  Take a look at http://therunamuck.com/2012/04/23/marriage-letters-on-loss/.

Marriage Letters: I Trust You Because . . .

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Huni,

I trust you.  And trusting is so hard for me to do.  Me?  Trusting anyone or anything?  Me, the one who’s been so dangerously betrayed by those who were supposed to be trustworthy.  The little girl in me always remembers that and she begs me to protect myself and trust no one.  I have had to fight fear and try so hard to receive your good and know that you are safe and it’s been a fight.  A struggle.  But I do trust you.  Or I, at least, am trying to because I know that it is important for our marriage and my growth, (and your growth, for that matter) and I try to live believing that you are trustworthy.

The first glimpse of just how trustworthy you are came after a series of Impact retreats and conferences.  I remember telling you that I appreciated how your character remained the same; when everyone was watching, and when it seemed that no one was watching (because I was watching . . .more than I care to admit :0)  I knew then that I could trust you to be yourself.  And that this cool guy with a heart for the Lord and great character, was truly that . . . and more.

That palpable sense of trust covered me still when, through our dating relationship, you showed me yourself, your family, your God, your heart, your love.  Emmanuel, you surrounded me, every time you got the chance, physically and emotionally.

And here we are, almost seven years into our marriage, but ten years of walking together, striving to know the other, striving to truly love one another and make each other happy and I know it, strong and sure:  you are trustworthy.  I’m thinking about how you let me lay all of my fear, shame, sin and ugliness before you and instead of judging me, you loved me and became angry for me, seeking a way to protect me from further hurt and harm.

So when I act like I don’t trust you, please continue to be patient with me and continue to love me through it.  This trust thing is a huge plunge for me.  At times it glides and at times skids, rough and rocky.  The opportunity to trust you is hardly about you, but more about all that that moment represents.  You think, “Pam, you know me.  You can trust me.”  I think, “You’re asking me to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro and I don’t even exercise on a regular basis.”  Huni, I do know you.  You are the sweetest person I know.  I know you want good for me and you mean good for me and I want to allow those truths to blanket me and make me feel safe.  Because that’s trust’s right hand man–safety.  I’m the one in this situation who needs to work harder for the trust to flow better.

As I grow to show you how much I love you and trust you, I try to remind myself that it’s safe because your love for me is another way that God shows me that He loves me.  And I want to give you the same grace.  I want to lavish you in the freedom of knowing that I trust you to make good decisions for the health and benefit of the girls and me.  I want my love and trust for you to make you feel strong, confident and capable in the world, daily, because I know that God desires to use me to show you just how much He loves you and what He thinks of you.  What a privilege and a high calling to trust you and to represent Christ in loving you.  He loves you best, but He must think a great deal of me to give me the charge of loving a man like you.  I know that as I lean into Him and rely on Him, loving you and trusting you in a way that He desires will accomplish all that I hope for you, and greater, all that He has in store for you.

I love you E.T.

pamela t.

If you haven’t joined me yet, please consider writing your spouse a marriage letter.  This experience has been rich for me, to ponder these things, to share my ponderings with my husband and plant seeds on behalf of my marriage.  I’ve also enjoyed reading the letters of others and being encouraged at the glimpse of the way other marriages work.  Visit:  http://therunamuck.com/2012/04/15/marriage-letters-i-trust-you-because/  to see what I mean.

Marriage Letters: On the Names I Call You

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So, Monday came and went and I didn’t get a chance to post but I still wanted to write my marriage letter, because this is something I really believe in.  As best said by Amber over on www.therunamuck.com, “Call your marriage what it really is. Every Monday in April we’re writing letters because we believe that when we bless our own marriage, we bless the marriages of others.”  I’m right there with you, sista.  Check out some other letters here:  http://therunamuck.com/2012/04/09/marriage-letters-on-the-names-i-call-you/  Would love for you to join me and share your marriage letters on her site!

Dear Huni,

That’s my most favorite name to call you, Hunibun, because you really are so, so sweet.  I remember this particular point in our relationship, after we had been dating for a while, and your character had remained consistently honey-sweet, I asked you how long it would last.  I expected that just like all the others, it would soon run out and you’d be just like all the others.  But not you.  You’ve remained one of the sweetest, most consistent, most wonderful people that I have ever known.  Thank you for that.  Hunibun.

When I saw this topic, I knew exactly what I wanted to post for my letter.  I wanted to post an actual video of the song, but YouTube failed me (they had one, but not one that I liked enough to post here for you).  So, go and listen to Brandy sing He Is and know that, exactly what she says, as I said to you so many years ago, you are to me.  I know you’ll remember this. . . Prince Charming, angel, friend, lover, my one . . .  And more.  I love you.

Love,

pamjam, cornbread, babycakes, bae, your wife.

Marriage Letters: On Serving Together

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Hey Huni,

Remember I told you that I would be writing you letters each Monday in April on my blog?  Well, today’s letter is on serving together.  He’s in it, right?!!?

We’ve been talking about this so much lately as we try to figure out how He wants to use us and what He wants our family, as a unit, to stand for, and here He is in this moment encouraging me to think about this and get the conversation going again.  I just love the Lord.  I really appreciate Him pursuing us and making it a little bit easier for us to know His will for our lives.  While we are praying and waiting to hear from Him on this, I thought that I would spend a few minutes in my letter to you talking about the ways we serve together right now.

It seems like we’ve done a great deal of serving together though it might tend to fly under the radar.  Our marriage is ministry and it feeds directly into the hearts of our baby girls.  The care that we show to one another and the energy that we put into our marriage facilitates our ability to be the kind of shepherding-parents the Lord would have us to be.  I love you so, so much Emmanuel.  I am so grateful that the Lord saw fit to bless me with you.  You truly are a gift, a promise manifested of being able to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Being married to me is not always easy because I do not always handle being a wife gracefully, but thank you so much for always fighting for me and for our marriage.  You are my warrior prince and our union rests in good hands with you. (hey, you give the Allstate man a run for his money!–you know, you’re in good hands with Allstate :0))

Our children are our ministry.  We work so hard with those two!  Whew!!  You and I both know that they are sweet, gifted and heaven sent but I appreciate having you by my side reminding me of it everyday.  Thank you for going to work everyday even though your heart beats for full time ministry in a different capacity.  Thank you for that sacrifice for our family ministry.  Thank you for coming home ready to be with us and enjoy us even though I know that you are tired from a long day of work.  Thank you for working so hard, huni.  As the leader of this ministry, you do a great job!  The girls and I are grateful, happy and we feel so blessed, cared for and protected by God through you.  Each day we have the opportunity to approach the world carefree and I get to take the time to pour into them and pull them into our vision so that they can grow into the women that God would have them to be.  And it starts with your diligence and determination to make our family be a vision of our resurrected savior. We are a force, the four of us.  Attitude, reflects leadership, captain. ;0)  (~Julius Campbell, Remember the Titans)

Lisa Bevere said (something like) “A woman who knows her purpose is not easily distracted.” And I’d have to say that that must be true for a marriage as well.  I’ve told you before that you are radical in the way you think. I’m not sure what’s our next move.  We have the bible study on Thursday nights, we have ministry with our extended family, our friends, our jobs, and our desires for other ministry opportunities.  We serve together in so many capacities.  It’s tough but it’s sweet.  There’s no telling where your radical mind and the Lord’s will will take us from here, but if we stay focused on Him and diligent to pursue our purpose . . .ain’t no mountain high enough.  I love you E.T.

pamela t.

See more marriage letters here:  http://therunamuck.com/2012/04/02/marriage-letters-on-serving-together/

Here is the note from Amber, the author of the blog that really encouraged me to join her and the others in this endeavor:  Please do join Seth, Joy, Scott, and me as we hold our marriages up to the light. Call your marriage what it really is. Every Monday in April we’re writing letters because we believe that when we bless our own marriage, we bless the marriages of others.