Chuckled to myself about those “fights” I have with people in my mind. I prepare or replay the whole conversation and all the things I’d say to get somebody right, “Aunt Esther style” . . . giving little thought to how, most often, I’m so wrong. . .
Check it out: http://lifetoday.org/video/the-law-of-kindness-part-2
Photo taken from google, jameslogancourier.org
I’ve been listening to and talking with many of my friends recently and it seems like we can all relate to “ocean seasons” in our lives. With all of its vastness, mystery and beauty, life and our view of & relationship with God, can be so very overwhelming, much like the ocean. Seems like the waves of challenge, pain, stretching, and strengthening come in so strong, so fierce and unrelenting. Living day in and day out, we expect life to be a walk on the beach; comfortable, beautiful, wild, but only a very controlled and contained wildness, one that we expect and can predict the outcome thereof. Oh, but how we limit our understanding of God’s power and our understanding of how He views us and the heights that we are capable of reaching in Him.
I mean, I totally get it though. The ocean, like our walk with God can be so scary. As soon as we venture out into the water–our relationship with God and all that it contains– and go in just deep enough, trusting God, just enough to call ourselves Christian and surrender just enough of our lives to say that He is Lord, the waves are stirred. Often, they are manageable at first–transitions, losses, misunderstandings, challenges . . . the waves that hit at the back of the knee and rock us forward. We regain our footing knowing that we needn’t resist because there will be more waves and we want to conquer, we want to be successful and pass the test.
Seems like just as I dig my heels into the sand and prepare myself to stand against the next wave, it comes indeed, and takes me under. And then comes another. It’s as if wave after wave rushes over me, taking me down head first, swirling me around beneath the deep, dark blue and as soon as I scramble my way to the top, cough up all of the salty water from my lungs and nose, breathe enough air to confirm that I am still alive and this wave, much to my dismay, did not claim my life, I am pulled under again, stronger and longer than before.
God desires that I fully rely on Him.
I hear you Lord, sweet and strong, even as the waves roar and crash violently, I hear it loud:
1-4 But now, God’s Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
the One who got you started, Israel:
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you. Isaiah 43:1-4 (The Message, emphasis mine)
It’s my perspective checker, pleading with me to take these truths into my heart and mind, receive them, believe them and walk in them. Walk in Him– in His strength and power, not in my own. It’s a common theme, but I’ve got to grasp it. Not my understanding but yours, Lord. Not my way, but yours, not my will, but thine father God. So I move a little farther out into the ocean even though my fears, and some of the people around me have told me that it would be wise to get out, do life my way, use my common sense.
No.
I’m following your spirit.
I’m going deeper.
And as soon as I trust you to take me deeper, farther, further, I discover that I am perfectly positioned so that the strength of the wave does not take me under. I am deep enough and far enough out into faith that I have no other choice but to trust you. The land is too far ahead of me and I cannot see the ocean floor beneath me. I must trust. And as soon as I do, I discover that what used to take me under only rocks me a bit now.
So I go deeper in you, at your leading.
And now, I can lie down and rest in you. Do, as Lisa calls, a God float. I’ll move according to your spirit now. I’ll no longer strive to control, but by your spirit I will have all the self control I need to just trust you and rest in you. Here, in this place old truths feel like new all over again; yes, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
And I’ll go deeper still.
6-10We, of course, have plenty of wisdom to pass on to you once you get your feet on firm spiritual ground, but it’s not popular wisdom, the fashionable wisdom of high-priced experts that will be out-of-date in a year or so. God’s wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don’t find it lying around on the surface. It’s not the latest message, but more like the oldest—what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene. The experts of our day haven’t a clue about what this eternal plan is. If they had, they wouldn’t have killed the Master of the God-designed life on a cross. That’s why we have this Scripture text:
No one’s ever seen or heard anything like this,
Never so much as imagined anything quite like it—
What God has arranged for those who love him.
But you’ve seen and heard it because God by his Spirit has brought it all out into the open before you.10-13The Spirit, not content to flit around on the surface, dives into the depths of God, and brings out what God planned all along. Who ever knows what you’re thinking and planning except you yourself? The same with God—except that he not only knows what he’s thinking, but he lets us in on it. God offers a full report on the gifts of life and salvation that he is giving us. We don’t have to rely on the world’s guesses and opinions. We didn’t learn this by reading books or going to school; we learned it from God, who taught us person-to-person through Jesus, and we’re passing it on to you in the same firsthand, personal way. (1 Corinthians 2:6-13, The Message, emphasis mine)
Can any of you relate to me on this? Anybody having an ocean season out there? If you’ve been through one and are coming out, share the beauty and glory of that deeper place in God with us!
Photo from windows2universe.org
Because you ever open your mouth to make the least utterance, you need to understand and know the law of kindness. Whoa.
Beth Moore is on Life Today talking about The Law of Kindness and in just this first video I was both convicted and captivated. Upon seeing the title, I wasn’t too hype about hearing her message. I loves me some Beth Moore because her teaching is just so revelatory and passionately draws me to my Savior but a message on kindness felt, well, simple. Honey chile let me tell you! Simple it is not!!
You’ve gotta see it for yourself, but she talked about how we are ALL published authors even without ever having made a dime for our work thanks to Facebook, Twitter, blogs, emails, and so on. But we are, in essence, the worse sort of writers; writers without editors. We say what we want, how we want, as often as we want and to whomever will entertain it and if we do not act in step with the Holy Spirit we can cause so much damage and harm.
She went on further to say, “It takes supernatural power to remain kind in the mean world we live in.” And I know this is true.
Confession: I had a run in with the mail lady this week. (huff sigh, slowly rubbing temples with fingertips)
My mail lady is just plain old mean. She really is. She drives her mail truck like a NASCAR professional and she takes little care for whomever may be on her terrain. She almost hit my sister and her fiance as they were crossing the street because they weren’t crossing quickly enough. And she has a vendetta for garbage cans. If she rolls up to deposit the mail and there is a trashcan in the way, she runs over it with her truck or she physically takes her hands and pushes it out of her way, as she passes by in her truck.
Craziness.
The worst day is trash day. On trash day,after emptying the cans, the trashmen leave trashcans wherever they may land; if it’s in your yard, score!, if it’s in the road, poor. So, on trash day this week, I was going out to move my trashcans but I didn’t get there quickly enough. As I was moving my cans, for reals, my hands were on the handle, she ran into my trashcan. People. My hands were on the can and she STILL hit it!!! I was in shock and disbelief!! For reals. I was stunned that she hit the can while I was standing right there with it. Then, she sat there and waited for me to move but I couldn’t because the can was trapped between the driveway and her truck!!! And even though I was FUMING I still came up with enough respect to call her ma’am as I tried to reason with her, (with, I’ll admit, a bit of ‘tude), that I can’t guarantee that the trashmen won’t leave my can in the road each week as they typically do to me and all of my neighbors. She relented not. Instead she went on to tell me where I should put my trashcan so that it won’t be in her way next time. Frustrated, I said okay and walked away to the sound of her truck screeching down the street to the next mailbox, only ten feet away.
Pride says I should have told her “akdafljsdhfuoeyrat;jdnf;asdfua;weouirwo;,!!!!!”
Conviction says I should have been nicer.
“We never resemble our Father more than when we love someone who is hard to love.” –Beth Moore
Kindness is a challenge. Lord help!!
Check it out: http://lifetoday.org/video/the-law-of-kindness-part-1
There are many things to complain about. Most often when we complain it seems so legitimate. Righteous even. But it’s not. And it never, ever makes anything better. At least not for me. See, watch:
1. I am so tired.
2. I couldn’t complete any of the things I wanted to get done today.
3. That girl was so rude to be using her phone while trying to serve me at the check-out line at the grocery store.
4. I’m getting so frustrated with my family and all of our drama.
5. More dishes in the sink for me to wash?! I just finished washing two piles!
Anybody feeling better? Me neither. Okay, now watch this:
150. While my girls were napping, I enjoyed reading a page turner and it was thrilling!
151. Spending time laughing with Nit and KiKi.
152. Seeing Iz light up at the sight of her cousins, no matter how many times she sees them.
153. Peanut butter Cheerios.
154. A chance to see God move on behalf of my family as I intercede on their behalf.
155. Hot, running water with which to wash my dishes.
156. A visit from Mini, complete with dinner, conversation and giggles.
157. DeeDee’s trust and vulnerability.
158. KiKi’s new journey to NCCU.
159. Calvin’s new journey to ECU.
160. Victory seen on the hopeful faces of two soon-to-be high school graduates, both college bound.
161. Restored relationships.
162. Jamaica, serving me ice cream while she ate liver.
163. Leaping into the wind at the sensing of the presence of courage and fearlessness . . .couldn’t miss the chance . . .couldn’t let them pass me by.
164. Lisa and Sarah.
165. Growth.
166. Determination to pay down more debt.
167. A plan.
168. A weekend home with my family.
169. Honesty.
170. Expectation.
and the list goes on . . . try counting blessings the next time you want to complain. . . I really do feel so much better!!
As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible. Joy is always possible.Whenever, meaning–now ; wherever, meaning–here. The holy grail of joy is not in some exotic location or some emotional mountain peak experience. The joy wonder could be here! Here, in the messy, piercing ache of now, joy might be–unbelievably–possible! ~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts
See my running list here: https://pamelluce.com/my-one-thousand/
photo found on google, from myfitclinic.com
I am Thanksgiving Day full of joy from this weekend! Friday was my birthday so my parents (in-law) came up to spend the weekend taking care of the girls so that I could rest and my huni took the day off to hang out with me. (sweeeet, right?) We saw a movie, did some light shopping, ate frozen yogurt and topped off the night having dinner with friends.
Then for Saturday he had secretly spoken to my family and friends and arranged a surprise party in my honor!! It was wonderful!! We ate some yummy food, danced, danced, danced, laughed, laughed and laughed some more and just had an all around good time. One of my sisters came in from out of town, my aunts and cousins pulled together and made the food, decorated my home and really set the atmosphere for a book lover’s themed party. And then, some of them pitched in and bought me a Nook!!! (cheering, smiling, crying, fist pumping, so excited!!) I am so grateful for my family and friends. This weekend was wonderful.
I know that there are great things happening in other people’s lives. At the same time there are people with great, basic needs and a Nook may seem such a trivial thing to cheer about. This was not necessarily a milestone birthday . . .yet . . .I am so happy and so grateful because some people I care about took a bit of their time and resources to show how much they care about me. I needed that.
I often get so caught up in trying to deny my need for people and my longing for connection. It’s a rallying theme with many familiar mantras: “Be strong!,” “Be independent!,” “Go for yours!”, do whatever you can to uphold the front that you are sufficient in and of yourself. Deny vulnerability because vulnerability is a sure sign of weakness, and weakness is not favorable. Yowza!!! And it is this very attitude that has made me feign strength and nurture pridefulness. I feel so much better when I offer help than I do when I receive it. The issue is that this has little to do with my tender, giving heart but more to do with the rancid stench of pride compromising anything good that I attempt to do. And what I’ve noticed is that I can be this way with God. (ouch) I remember one time talking to Emmanuel (my husband) telling him that I didn’t want to have to run to God for every little thing; I wanted to be able to show Him that I could handle some things on my own. (covering my face with my hands) Missing the big problem in my statement? God never intended for me to live independent from Him. He wants me to depend on Him for every little thing. And most times He’ll use people to help me and give me what I want and need. If I isolate myself and set myself up as this super-Pam who needs no one and can handle everything, I dismiss God, I dismiss His people and I dismiss myself because I am not giving myself a chance to receive from God.
This birthday weekend, my need wasn’t gifts, neither food nor shelter. My needs were rest, peace, joy, and love. And the Lord saw fit to use my family and friends to fill me to the measure. And I reveled in it. And I am full. Thanksgiving Day full. For reals.
Right now I feel like the kid who has been aching to ride her bike without training wheels. She knows she can do it. She sees the other kids doing it and wants to join in ever so much. But . . .
After months of practice compounded by weeks of enduring the extra two small yet powerful wheels that protect her from falling, but also keep her isolated from the adventure and those who dare to venture, she decides that the jutted-out-to-the-side-hindrances have to go. Free from the fear enablers, she gets on, firmly plants feet to pedals and slowly takes off, every now and then slamming feet on concrete to prevent an ugly, horrible crash. And she does this stopping and starting until she gains enough momentum not to care anymore. The thrill of the wind on her face and the sheer accomplishment of succeeding in trying is enough to make her wind those pedals in circular motion over and over again.
Writing can be an experience much like that for me. I often allow all of the fear concerning my writing gift to halt me rather than allowing my passion for writing to propel me. But no more. Here I am world!! Writing!! My blog!! Whew!! (shouts into a megaphone —>) The girl is on the bike! No training wheels of caution because so far, for me at least, caution has quickly gone from sensibility and thoughtfulness to excuses and failure to even try. I’m just so happy to be doing something I love with no fear of success or failure (well, maybe there is still just a little bit of fear . . . :0). Fear has played the role of friend but showed up more like a foe time and time again. Uhhhhhhh, I think I wanna try something else for a while. Turns out I still have some courage left. (who knew??!!?)
The girl is on the bike. And she has her hands up, head thrown back and she is grinning wildly as she rides down the hill of an open road. . .
photo found on google.com
pamelluce.com 