Tag: women

Anything?

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Saw this today in my email from (in)courage.  Got me thinking . . .

Check it out.

Jennie Allen was also featured on Life Today with James and Betty Robison today.  Today she spoke about her bible study Stuck and she had some very relevant insights.

Today was the first that I had heard of Jennie Allen but her current project, Anything, really spoke to me and I thought that you may enjoy it too.

Risky prayer to pray, “God, I’ll do anything.  I’ll give you anything . . . even the very thing of which I am most afraid.”

Or is it?

Are you desperate enough for God to pray that prayer?

Mommy Goodness!

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A big, fat, hearty Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers of the world!!!! :0)  No matter how you are called upon daily to serve as a mom, it’s hard work being us, for reals and it is my sincere pleasure to wish you a happy day today and also to pray prayers of strength, love, courage, and deep relationship with God through Christ Jesus as you walk this walk of selflessness and service.  As glorious and as sweet as days like today can be, I have learned that you’ll need Him every step of the way!

I have had a great day so far.  I was greeted by mother’s day wishes starting around 6ish.  Phone calls and texts galore!  Ok.  People.  Thank you, but for reals??!!??  That early in the morn??!!  I’m a mom!  I needs my sleep!!  :0)  joking. . . kinda . . .  ;0)

My Huni’s alarm slapped my ears at 6:30, like it does relentlessly morning after morning and so resigning that I wouldn’t be sleeping in on this Mother’s Day, I hopped on my laptop and found some wonderfully encouraging words for any mama’s soul in my inbox and on the Gypsy Mama’s site.

I love (in)courage and receive emails from the site fresh and hot to my inbox daily.   This one: http://www.incourage.me/2012/05/what-we-wish-we-could-tell-you-mamas.html was waiting for me this morning and was a wonderful way to start my Mother’s Day, thinking of all moms, not just those like me.  So good.  Please do check it out.  Guaranteed blessings there.

The Gypsy Mama offered up something different but it was just. what. I. needed.  For reals.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand there’s a giveaway!!  For free!!  Check it out:  http://thegypsymama.com/2012/05/and-then-i-broke-up-with-myself-six-years-ago/

Went to church service this morning.  I love the body of believers that we worship with here.  Really, truly, our lives have been changed in ways that we could never have imagined ever since our first Sunday worshiping there.  And today was no different.  Love, love, love it when my pastor’s wife speaks.  She speaks truth and spoke it this morning like always.  However just before she did, our worship leader Pastor Jon Owens and his wife Kelley shared a bit of themselves with us.  I do not know them personally, but I really wish I did.  Especially after this. They have an amazing testimony and have been used by God to help inspire some movement in our lives without even knowing it.  Oh, this video . . . it hints to none of that.  Just how amazingly talented  and . . .  fun they are.  How can I describe this . . . .hmmmm . . . I don’t even know.  You know what, just watch it.  You’ll never be the same . . .  :0)


So, for the rest of the day I will eat and rest.  A dear friend has made plans to drop by later.  I expect we’ll laugh and talk the evening away.

I asked for a book called Mother Letters as a gift for today.

 I cannot wait to dig in.  Check it out for yourself or gift it to someone else.  Find out more here:  http://motherletters.com/ebook/

Now, for my mama:  I love you mommy.  I know that a great part of who I am, God used your hands and heart to mold.  I miss you so much.  I wish I could see your face everyday and be closer to you, to take care of you and nurture you into your destiny the way that you did with me.  But I trust God with you because before you were mine, you were so sweetly and securely His.   May He ever love you and use you until He calls you.  You’ve been a great mother–no matter the outcome of me and my sister’s lives.  Now I get to have you as my friend.  Thank you for being willing to stick around as my friend.  In my absence, I send you my heart, my love, and this gap-toothed smile that you so generously shared with  me.

I love you mommy!!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxo!!

Wednesdays with Beth: The Law of Kindness pt 2

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Chuckled to myself about those “fights” I have with people in my mind.  I prepare or replay the whole conversation and all the things I’d say to get somebody right,  “Aunt Esther style” . . . giving little thought to how, most often, I’m so wrong. . .

Check it out:  http://lifetoday.org/video/the-law-of-kindness-part-2

Photo taken from google,  jameslogancourier.org

Wednesdays with Beth: The Law of Kindness

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Because you ever open your mouth to make the least utterance, you need to understand and know the law of kindness.  Whoa.

Beth Moore is on Life Today talking about The Law of Kindness and in just this first video I was both convicted and captivated.  Upon seeing the title, I wasn’t too hype about hearing her message.  I loves me some Beth Moore because her teaching is just so revelatory and passionately draws me to my Savior but a message on kindness felt, well, simple.  Honey chile let me tell you!  Simple it is not!!

You’ve gotta see it for yourself, but she talked about how we are ALL published authors even without ever having made a dime for our work thanks to Facebook, Twitter, blogs, emails, and so on.  But we are, in essence, the worse sort of writers; writers without editors.  We say what we want, how we want, as often as we want and to whomever will entertain it and if we do not act in step with the Holy Spirit we can cause so much damage and harm.

She went on further to say, “It takes supernatural power to remain kind in the mean world we live in.”  And I know this is true.

Confession:  I had a run in with the mail lady this week. (huff sigh, slowly rubbing temples with fingertips)

My mail lady is just plain old mean.  She really is.  She drives her mail truck like a NASCAR professional and she takes little care for whomever may be on her terrain.  She almost hit my sister and her fiance as they were crossing the street because they weren’t crossing quickly enough.  And she has a vendetta for garbage cans.  If she rolls up to deposit the mail and there is a trashcan in the way, she runs over it with her truck or she physically takes her hands and pushes it out of her way, as she passes by in her truck.

Craziness.

The worst day is trash day.  On trash day,after emptying the cans, the trashmen leave trashcans wherever they may land; if it’s in your yard, score!, if it’s in the road, poor.  So, on trash day this week, I was going out to move my trashcans but I didn’t get there quickly enough.  As I was moving my cans, for reals, my hands were on the handle, she ran into my trashcan.  People.  My hands were on the can and she STILL hit it!!!  I was in shock and disbelief!!  For reals.  I was stunned that she hit the can while I was standing right there with it.  Then, she sat there and waited for me to move but I couldn’t because the can was trapped between the driveway and her truck!!!  And even though I was FUMING I still came up with enough respect to call her ma’am as I tried to reason with her, (with, I’ll admit, a bit of ‘tude), that I can’t guarantee that the trashmen won’t leave my can in the road each week as they typically do to me and all of my neighbors.  She relented not.  Instead she went on to tell me where I should put my trashcan so that it won’t be in her way next time.  Frustrated, I said okay and walked away to the sound of her truck screeching down the street to the next mailbox, only ten feet away.

Pride says I should have told her “akdafljsdhfuoeyrat;jdnf;asdfua;weouirwo;,!!!!!”

Conviction says I should have been nicer.

“We never resemble our Father more than when we love someone who is hard to love.” –Beth Moore

Kindness is a challenge.  Lord help!!

Check it out:  http://lifetoday.org/video/the-law-of-kindness-part-1

Wednesdays with Beth

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Beth Moore was back on Life Today, today, with part six of the series Family Calamity and Restoration (http://lifetoday.org/video/family-calamity-and-restoration-part-6).  Point 6:  God can add to your family.  Point 7:  Christ can bring honor back to the family.  The overall message that she gave was something that was on my heart last night, laid with me and slept heavy on my mind even through my dreams and greeted me as soon my eyes opened this morning.

Once a month, the second Tuesday of each month to be exact, I slide out of my home after the girls are quietly lying in bed pondering their day, the way little people do, to meet with other moms.  Together we gather, tired and excited to be together, yearning for fellowship, connection, answers, hope.  We share little bits of our lives, we laugh, we cry.  We each slip in and out of vulnerability, easily, and, I believe, we walk away fuller just for having gathered together.

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching. (Hebrews 10:25)

Each time we gather we have a topic to discuss.  Last night it was how do we, amidst starting families, ministering, having careers, raising families,  make time to spend with the Lord.  I shared about how I am in this season of life where it seems like everything is hard.  It’s hard to get up in the morning, hard to get out of bed, hard to lay down at night.  Hard.  Everything.  And, because of this, how necessary it is for me to connect with my Savior daily, and best first thing in the morning, before I step foot out of the bed as a reminder that He is there with me, in that moment, and that He will continue to be with me throughout my day, moment by moment.

After I said this, I went on talking with some of the women throughout the night and I heard my words echoed back to me.  Either they were in agreement, could feel where I was coming from because they had been there, were currently there, or they simply couldn’t relate.  I thought about the ones that couldn’t relate.  I thought about the ones who said they knew and had been there.  I thought about myself and how I have been singing this song of desperation for some time now.  This having a hard time song.  And why am I still singing it?  Why have I not overcome and passed over from hard times to good times?  What’s going on, Lord?  I’m so, so thankful for the gathering because without them, it would have taken me just a little while longer to come to this:  I have not surrendered my hard time to the Lord.  I have not embraced my hard time as weakness, have not cherished the opportunity for a 2 Corinthians 12:9 moment each day, moment by moment.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

I writhe and wiggle and struggle to produce a good day, each day, and each day I get frustrated and come up unsatisfied because I have not surrendered, truly surrendered to my Psalm 46:1 God

 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Selah.  And I need to Selah my way through my day, moment by moment by moment to give my God a chance to rescue me, instead of me rushing in to figure all of this out by myself.  I need to push, but I need to push in a Psalm 121 sort of way.  I need to adjust my vision and really see.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Beth Moore spoke today about other forms of family.  Perhaps you need to tap into the family that God has provided for you that is right in front of you.  It may be your family of origin.  It may be a community of people outside of your family.  It may be both.  It be several forms of both.  Surely He desires for you to be connected through community.  Figure out who and what that is and get plugged in.  You may be missing life and, due to your absence, so may they.

Thank you, Lord, for the community of moms who help me see you more clearly.

Salt . . .Light . . .Us . . .

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I’ve always had high educational aspirations.  When I left to get my bachelor’s degree, I was already thinking about my master’s. And as I finished my master’s degree, I worked hard to quiet the roar for a doctorate.

After finishing undergraduate school I was bound to explore the world.  First stop, Manchester, UK.  I fell in love with my college sweetheart and he loved me back so passionately that just before I left he asked me to be his wife.  I said yes but I went to Manchester anyway.  Not wanting love to anchor me just yet, I moved forward in learning, exploring, discovering and then caught the first love train coming back this way when my stint was over.

Moved to his city just before the nuptials so that we could begin to build on some common ground together since our whole relationship had basically been long distance.  God, in the way that only He can, hooked me up with a job that included commission and a new apartment convenient to everything I’d want and need since I didn’t have any wheels just yet. (He’s so efficient, right?!!)

Then came marriage and we were happy.  We were thrilled, in fact, and our love for each other was so thick and full that it had us believing that we were fulfilled in every area of our lives.  For a time.

The ache for more came pounding, palpable and unrelenting.  My job was . . . cool . . . but I knew that it wasn’t supposed to be mine but for so long.  So I prayed and explored some more and even though I knew it would disrupt our comfort for a short time, I left it all. (here’s where I thank God for giving me wisdom to wait on and accept the man that He chose for me, ’cause my man was with me all the way, so supportive and genuinely concerned about my emotional well being.)  Again, God blessed me.  This time with a career as an educator and a position at a great school that offered an opportunity to obtain my M.Ed. (score!!!!!)

Then came baby girl one and we were ecstatic.  Prior to her conception, I had never made room in my mind or heart for children of my own.  Not sure why, just didn’t think I’d be fit to be a mommy.  But God softened my heart and gave me the desire for children and then gave me the desires of my heart.  E and I thought that life couldn’t get any better. We felt abundantly blessed to have Israel Grace.  For reals.  And things seemed . . .right.

Then came baby girl two and I was stunned.  Thirteen months later, she came sweetly into the world.  So many negative emotions flooded my mind and heart simply because I felt that I wasn’t ready for another baby and I wasn’t trusting God to know better than me. (covers face in shame)  I was terrified of what it would be like to have two children, much more two children less than two years old.  Terrified.  But I knew that I had to repent and get my mind right because whether or not I was ready He wanted to give me this gift and my, oh my, what a gift she is.  Ava Joelle is a blessing of massive proportions.  Absolutely.

My life seriously changed after she came.  But not for the reasons you might think.  Yes, it is difficult being mommy to two little girls.  So much to do.  So much to manage. SO much.  But after we had Ava, we decided that I would stay home full time, instead of part time as I did once we had Izzie.

Staying home full time has been amazing and hard and on another day I’ll elaborate.  It’s like a whole new world and nothing like what I imagined (I’ve watched too much t.v.).  As much as there is to do and as busy as I am on a daily basis, loving my family, caring for them, educating the girls, training the girls, caring for and cleaning my home and so much more, the Lord completely opened up my life and showed me that I was missing something.  One morning, I walked into my girls’ room and I could hear my Lord speaking to me, saying, “You can have the life you want.  You can do what you want to do with your life.  You are not in control but I have empowered you to make decisions.  But first, you need to figure out what you want. ”  And it felt like freedom to hear that.

I had recently heard an inspiring and exciting talk by my pastor’s wife, Mrs. Lynette Lewis (for more visit http://www.lynettelewis.com).  As she excitedly and confidently spoke about dreams and their power to energize, she awakened something in me.  And as she spoke practically about personal mission statements and how to put your dreams in action with the 1-1-1 rule (work toward one dream, once a week, for one hour) I became as the runner at the starting line at an Olympic track event; in ready position, just waiting for the sound of the gun so that I could take off running with the determination to win.

It appears to me that most of us have dreams and goals that we are not fulfilling for whatever reason–fear, lack of time, lack of resources, I could go on.  But I am discovering that none of these issues are powerful enough to hold us still, except for the power that we give to them by making them legitimate.  And what’s more, many of the dreams that I have are things that God placed inside of me and are related to my gifts and inclinations, unique only to me because of the purposes, works and people He has set aside for me to reach.

This week we had dinner with a sweet, sweet, funny couple (more on the wife, Whitney, soon).  After dinner Whitney and I got to talking and she spoke about how her giftings, at one time, didn’t seem to be life changing because some may not take it seriously (but I’m telling you, this woman is amazing and her art is a reflection of the creativity, innovation and beauty of our God) as say, moving to a third world country, adopting orphans and building homes while  sharing the gospel.  But then she spoke about how we, as God’s people, the representation of the Kingdom, are called to positively change and effect our culture, in. every. way.  That includes moving to third world countries and working there as well as it includes making a difference right where we are.  We are called to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16).  So let’s figure it out friends.  What is it that makes your heart beat?  What would you do if you knew you could not fail?  What work would you do even if you knew that no one would pay you a penny or a compliment for doing it?  And where is God in these things?  Speak to Him.  Offer yourself up to Him and ask Him how He’d like to use you to change the world for His glory.  Listen closely and carefully.  Then get going! I believe that there is no job too big or too small, too silly or too meaningful when it is set to the tune of His course and purpose.  Let’s lay aside every weight and get busy.

13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. 14 “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.

 

photo taken by raine, found on flickr.com


Love Letter to the Women Who Mean So Much to Me

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I think that the term best friend has lost some of its flavor.  Back in the day-day, best friends were as distinguishable as the smell of curry in the hallway of a diverse apartment building in D.C.  If a girl said that someone was her best friend, you could best believe that the two of them would be melded together like the sweet, sticky syrup to the dough on a cherry pastry.  And consistently so–no matter what!  They’d take on each other’s personalities, look out for each other, and fight (of course), but they would essentially create a world made just for the two of them, through which they would freely and creatively express themselves and in which they would endeavor to live for the rest of their lives.

But now it seems like a BFF has been reduced to a fad, the latest trend.  And as her ability to accessorize with your life changes, so do the ideals of friendship.  For some people, that term-BFF needs to be amended to BFFN–Best Friend For Now!  And I am so sad to report that there are even some of us who can’t say that we have very many friends at all–much less a best friend.  I hear so many women proudly say, “I don’t do women.  I prefer to deal with men, ’cause women are just too much.”  And I think that’s just a shame.  I really believe that we are a reflection of each other and if we refuse to unite then what side of ourselves are we giving each other to reflect upon?  And why are we okay with that?

Well, I have come as the BF Fairy to restore your faith in friendship!  (get excited) One fateful day (some years ago today, in fact), the giver of all good and perfect gifts opened up the windows of heaven and poured me out a blessing , and even now, this woman is my ride or die, tried and true homie. I am so grateful that I get to call my mom one of my dearest, bestest, good friends.  I’ve shared my whole, whole, life with her.  She’s seen me inside and out, ugly and beautiful and yet she still loves me.  And she still chooses me, day after day.  She calls me, just to talk, just to know what’s going on with me and to share what’s going on in her life, with me.  She trusts me.  She was careful not to befriend me too soon.  She did me the honor of making sure that I had her love as my mommy before she ever thought of me as a friend.  And it’s because of her that I can dream impossible dreams and pray with faith that the Lord will sift through them and give me what He deems best for me.  She is one of  the most sweet-hearted women I’ll ever know.  I’ve never seen strength and vulnerability contained so beautifully in a person as with my mom.  She’s my shoulder to cry on, laughing buddy, prayer partner, my biggest fan.  And I would not be who I am today if it were not for her.  There is no tribute effective enough to do her justice.  You’d have to meet her to know that these few words were a meager attempt and only hint at the wonder of God’s goodness that she personifies.  She’s inspiration and aspiration to all things higher and greater.  My mommy.

I have a friend who, over the years, has transcended as more than my friend–she is my sister.  I can try to minimize our relationship to words just so that I can tell you exactly how and why it’s been as sweet as it is and still the best that I can say is that in her heart, there I sit–along with her mother, her family, the greatest loves of her life and her darling baby girls.  Her actions toward me have been the spokesperson for these sentiments.  She’s always wanted me to be a part of her life and she has done her share of the work to make it happen.  She tells me all the time that she is going to be the Gayle to my Oprah and this is not because she is settling for being a Gayle until she finds her inner Oprah but because she believes in me wholeheartedly and she gives me the strength, courage and wisdom to pitch my tent among the stars while I rest and dream on a cloud.  I can see the beauty of who I am, and who I aspire to be, naturally reflected in the light of her essence.  She’s been like a mother’s love–comforting, correcting, and sacrificing so that I can be, me.  Of course we’ve had our fights and our friendship has suffered some turmoil.  I’ve wanted to slam and suplex her but I honestly cannot imagine my life without her.  She’s my BFF.

But here’s the real doozy:  I have so many wonderfully incredible women in my life who, through the years and even right now, have deeply effected who I am.  In some cases they have been better to me than I to them.  There is so much grace in that.  I am a big ole mess and if anyone were to decide to give up on me, I couldn’t hold an argument worthy of making them change their mind.  But I’ve got some sit-ins-at-the-lunch-counter-during-the-civil-rights-movement kind of women in my life!  They shall not be moved!!  Each woman who I have the privilege of calling mine in any capacity is a representation of the truth I seek as I grow and develop as a woman of integrity, a woman of grace, a woman of standard, a woman of God.  They not only are friends, they are goals, for if I can but strive to attain the beauty of self and character that these women possess I just may become the first real-life superwoman.  Yes, I love my best friend and her light shines brightly in my life but the evolution of my refinement is continued in the summer, spring, winter and fall that are all of my friends and some of the women in my family and church as well.

Through my life I celebrate you all–a beautyFULL, spring bouquet in the center of an elegant table setting.  You allow me to adorn myself in the petals of your love and grace and in so doing you have given me the confidence to sashay about with confidence in this harsh, judgemental, mean world.  As my stilettos leave holes in the ground, I continue your legacy, inviting those who come behind me to plant a seed in fertile soil–the results of which will be deep, strong roots and the rich, succulent fruit of God’s productivity yielded through me from you.

And all of this– not simply because of me but because God loved me so much that he specifically and thoughtfully placed all of you in my life.