Tag: family

Genesis 3:1

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So, this year must be THE year to get married!  Who knew!?!  I have several family members and friends who have agreed and set a date to enter into covenant with another person this year.  In 2012 I am a part of 5 weddings.  Yep, 5.  The first two of five weddings have already occurred with the most recent being one of my little brothers, thus my mysterious silence for the past two weeks.  The first was for a dear Fran of mine from college.  She’s probably one of the sweetest people I know and I was so honored that she has cherished our relationship through the years so much that she would desire to enter into this covenant with my prayers and support.  So, I figured I’d share what I’ve been up to by sharing some of what happened with the weddings!

My Fran, Ayana, and her husband J.R.were married in Charleston, SC on July 7, 2012 at the Charleston Aquarium.  She had a short, sweet ceremony with the Charleston Harbor as the backdrop.  Even though there we were in the middle of the fierce July Charleston heat, there was a cool breeze blowing off from the water, at times so strong that we had to anchor ourselves or be blown away by more than just the love and beauty of it all!  So, here are a few flicks from the day:

So pretty, right?  And again:

Planning a wedding can be so stressful.  And my dear Fran Ayana has waited a long time to meet her special someone, fall in love, don a beautiful gown and mark the start of their lives together forever with a beautiful day.  It was so good to see her smiling and having such a good time that day.

My huni and I had a good time as well.  I was a bridesmaid and that can keep you pretty busy but I was able to hook up with him and have some fun taking a few flicks, being our fabulous, zany selves.  There we are!  The fierce bridesmaid and her hot boo!  (I wanted to write, “the fierce bridesmaid and her fierce boo,” but I figured he might have a problem with me using the adjective “fierce” to describe him . . . .)  :0)

     

Another fun, fun, fun part of the weekend was hooking up with all of the other bridesmaids.  You can tell a woman by her Frans, and Ayana is just so abundantly blessed because she has some WONDERFUL women flowering her life!!

A couple of the women that Ayana chose as bridesmaids, turned out to be women I knew from undergrad–which is where Ayana and I met.  We went to different schools but we were in the same campus ministry and met at a retreat. (this same organization is also where I met my huni!)  So there were some women there who were a part of the ministry, a woman there who I actually went to undergrad with and had no idea that she even knew Ayana and there was a woman there who attends the same church that I do and we had never met until she came to my house for the bridal shower that we had for Ayana!  Craziness!  Sweet, sweet, craziness!

I was also able to see another of my good Frans, Quiana, who was there to witness the union between Ayana and JR.  Please send prayers up for Qui.  She’s getting married in September and if you’re married, ever planned a wedding, or anything associated with the two, you know how pressing and full this time can be.  I’m praying joy, grace, favor, peace, and love for her and her fiance, Josiah, during this time and beyond.  Please agree with me on her behalf.

SO here are the last few flicks of the girls and me:

   

   

Good, good times.  Really.  We had so much fun.  Sweet love, new friendships, good food, dancing, laughing, woooo!  It doesn’t get any better than that!!

Just about a week ago my little brother took a lady by the hand, said some originally written vows, poured out his love and decided to spend his happily ever after with Mrs. Brendalyn Thompson.  The two were married July 28 in Durham, NC and had a nice, contemporary wedding true to their own unique style.  We were all swept away by their ceremony and danced the night away with the happy couple.  I didn’t get to take as many pictures of this event but I definitely wanted to share the few that I have:

Boooooooooooooooooooooooom!!  It’s official!!  Wooooop Woooooop!!!

Big, sincere, loud, congratulations from my heart to both couples.

Seeing two people unite and decide to share their lives together can be one of the most beautiful events to enjoy.  It is sentimental on so many different levels as it is an incredibly important and big decision for any one person to make.  Almost every woman I know wants this.  She wants someone with whom to share all of her life, for the rest of her life.  It’s a holy thing, marriage.  It’s a covenant.  It’s one of God’s many dwelling places and it is an instant ministry through the testimony that it offers its witnesses.  Everyone is watching.  Everyone.  Including our enemy.  It’s no small wonder marriage is so hard.

21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs or a part of his side and closed up the [place with] flesh.

22 And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

23 Then Adam said, This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man.

24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence.

3 Now the serpent was more subtle and crafty than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And he [Satan] said to the woman, Can it really be that God has said, You shall not eat from every tree of the garden? (Genesis 2:21-3:1)

Ever since Huni pointed it out to me, it has done nothing less than intrigued me that after the man and woman are united, free, naked and not embarrassed, having forsaken all others, moving in complete oneness and in agreement . . . we meet the serpent.  And from the moment he enters the picture, he begins his evil regime to steal, kill and destroy like only he can.

We know what he’s all about so I won’t give him any more shine than that.  I’ll simply say this: After we’ve cried with the couple, laughed with them and celebrated their decision, they really need our prayers.  Actually from the moment we learn of their intention of courtship and all throughout the life of the marriage, they need our prayers!  They need for us to hold them up and support them by speaking truth, kind words, and pouring into and onto them goodness, love and mercy as they move through life together knowing who their enemy is.  And Frans, he is tireless.  So should be our prayers.

Please pray that people would honor God in their marriages, their families and their lives together.  Every time you want to open your mouth to criticize or critique another person’s marriage, pray.  Submit yourself and your loved ones to Christ and trust Him to do the necessary work in you and them.  Don’t let satan use you to disrupt God’s work–whether you agree with it or not.  And Frans, I am talking to myself here!  Wooo!

There are times when Huni and I get into it and at just about that moment when I am about to totally let my flesh have her way, spotlight, microphone, music and all, I get a glimpse of satan, reclined, knocking back root beer floats, eating hot buttered popcorn enjoying the show.  And I come to a screeching halt———MAD, because I forgot who the real enemy is–it’s not huni.  It’s satan.  How quickly we forget.

We need each others prayers and support.  Please choose to participate in giving God glory, not in helping satan fool us all.

Marriage Letters: On Friendship

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E 2 tha T,

That’s what your friends call you, right?  Or something related. . . ET, E, Easy . . .

I wanna be your friend.  Your best, good friend.  yeah.  Like Forrest and Bubba.

When we first met, friendship was a requirement for me.  I needed to know that you’d stick around and try to get to know me and find value in friendship with me before I let you pursue me for love.  That was my deal with basically every guy I dated but you were the one who actually took me seriously and dug through my rough places to find the diamonds that I worked so hard to hide while I protected myself from everything and everyone.  Even you.  You stuck it out with me.  You decided that if it took befriending me to get the chance to love me, then you’d be Stevie and I’d be Dionne and we’d make them think we wrote the song! Hey!  And you. were. my. friend.  For reals.  Before and during our dating relationship, we had such a sweet, deep friendship.  But . . . (yeah, there’s a “but”) . . .it’s different now.

I hear you on the phone with your friends, and I hear how hard you laugh and how much you share and I gotta admit, I get a little jealous.   I don’t feel included anymore.  I don’t feel as close to you as I know we could be and as I close to you as I want to be.  And I hear you say that I shouldn’t expect for our friendship to look like my friendships with the women in my life.  (How many times have you said, I am not Chasity!!!) And I get that.  I do.  And it’s not that I want our friendship to look like any other friendship I have but there are aspects of those relationships that I expect to see in our friendship because, I feel, our connection should be greater and deeper than any other connection I have with anyone else on earth.  And when our relationship doesn’t look like our friendship is strong, it’s discouraging because it’s a reminder of how things are different from what they used to be and that we aren’t as close as I want us to be . . .as I feel we should be.  What are we gonna do?

I don’t want to replace your other friends.  You need them, just like I need my friends.  And you know how much all of my friends mean to me.  What it is that I want, is my buddy back.  We have allowed some very good, good things to come in and squish all of the room for friendship, out.  When was the last time we played Phase 10?  Marcus still has our tennis game . . .we could play that!  I know that I can lean on you and talk to you about anything and I know that we can have a really, really fun time together, laughing until crying and talking late into the night, but it’s not our way anymore.  We happen upon these moments, or they hunt us down through circumstances but we don’t run after opportunities to find joy in each other.  Marriage is a gift for so many reasons and it’s a serious matter but I think that one of the reasons we have each other is to make life a little bit sweeter.  Friendship does that for me.  And I want us to be friends.  Best, good friends.  Like Forrest and Bubba,  David and Jonathan, Rose, Blanche, Sophia and Dorothy.

But really.  What are we gonna do?  I can’t blame you, I’ve played a big part in this too.  It was impressed upon me a few months ago that I need to be more vulnerable with you and trust you more.  uggggggggghhhhhhhh.  Two very difficult things for me to do, but I think they’re so difficult because I keep looking at you and your limitations and not the spirit of God who resides inside of you and empowers you, eliminating your limitations.  Even though you can make me madder than a wet hornet, you can bring me joy like no other.  And I just want to enjoy you more.  I don’t want our marriage to slip into the mundane and then glide into this survival, day to day mode where we just take care of each other and our children, but we don’t fully enjoy our lives together.  It seems like a sure indication that a marriage is headed down that road is when the friendship starts to wan.  I know that we are friends.  There’s not doubt about that.  And I know that we have a good time together, but I want it to be better, richer, funner!  ;0) So, here.  Let’s have a do-over-midway-start-over.  E 2 tha T, will you be my best good friend?  Check yes or no.

I love you!!

pamela t.

Marriage Letters: On Our Anniversary

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Oh, Huni.

Seven years.  Wow.  Seven years ago today we trotted our little scared but in love selves down that wide aisle, ready to give ourselves away all for the chance to love each other the rest of our lives.  We had no idea what our tomorrow would look like but we were sure that no matter what the view, we wanted to see it together.

Remember that wave of fear that rushed over us when we stepped into the vestibule, after we said I do and you planted a big one on me?  Emmanuel!  We were sooooooo scared!  Who’d a thunk it?  And I’m not even sure why.  Those few moments alone, without all the hustle and bustle of making  preparations for the wedding, without the swarm of family and friends excitedly supporting and anticipating the union, all we had was ourselves and all this love that was supposed to get us from there to eternity.

We have since learned that love, as great and important as it is, is not enough.  You need my respect as well as my love and I have learned that the more I love you and respect you, the more I participate in the Lord’s work of making you the man that He’s purposed for you to become.  I apologize for all the ways that I have not loved you and the times that I allowed myself to think that I knew better at the risk of disrespecting you.  I’m really sorry, Emmanuel.  Our marriage is a big deal to me but I am only now opening up to allow God to heal all the broken bits of my heart and while He’s doing major surgery on me (which is probably going to last a lifetime) I’ll have these bouts of hard-to-love-me and hard-to-see-my-love. It’s a side effect of brokenness.  But I’m in the fray.  And I ain’t going nowhere.  And I’m grateful to have a partner who’s as committed to this thing as I am.

So. Here we are.  Seven years later.  No longer afraid,well, at least not for the same reasons that were there seven years ago. . .

You’re my gift.  I get so humbled when I think about my little girl self and see the woman that I am today.  God is so great.  He’s so good, so incredibly sweet to me to have built me to be a woman of great strength, wisdom, and power in my own right and then put a little polish on me when he gave me you.  I’m a movement by myself but I’m a force when we’re together.  ;0)

I’ll take this seventh anniversary as a chance to tighten my grip on your hand as we  move from waltzing to marching into our purpose.  And the beauty of it is that in this season, we’re a great deal clearer about what it is and how to do it.  SO here, we go!  So excited to see what this next chapter brings.

loving loving you,

pamela t.

The Marriage Letters are Coming Back!

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So, just a few weeks ago, I went to a bridal shower given in honor of a new Fran, Ms. Jessica Orr.  It was really my pleasure and delight to spend time with her while some of the women she loves gathered to celebrate her.  She’s a sweet, funny, pretty, cRaZy woman who loves Jesus, likes to be called Jecca, and who cannot wait to marry this dear man she’s fallen in love with, Mr. Colton Janes.

There she is, kissing some other man . . . :0)

We sat talking and laughing, like ladies do at bridal showers, and she told me that she’d been on the blog.  She said that she really enjoyed the marriage letters and that she and her husband-to-be wanted to try and write marriage letters to each other once married.  :0)  So sweet, I thought to myself, and I was really encouraged that she felt so inspired by the letters.

Many of my Frans and readers have commented to me about the letters and so I thought that it would be a great idea to bring them back.  Huni and I really enjoyed them and they sparked a great deal of reflection and communication between the two of us.  Much of the hope that the originator, Amber Haines from therunamuck.com, hoped for the letters have come to pass in our marriage and others who’ve read the letters posted here.

Next Monday is our anniversary and, I felt, a great time to bring them back.  So, there it is!  The Marriage Letters are coming back!  Talking with my Fran, Rey, this weekend I got some good ideas about some topics to start me off, but I’d love to hear from any of you as well about some topics for the marriage letters.   Please leave your ideas in the comments.  For those of you who prefer, you can email me:  mrs.pthompson@gmail.com.

For more information on the marriage letters series, where it came from and why I joined and am excited to do it again, check out www.therunamuck.com, which is where I first got the idea and linked up every Monday in April, and also check the category titled “marriage letters” here on pamelluce for the letters previously written.

Accountability

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I have two little girls and they are sweeeeeeeeeeet and sooooooo funny.

Izzie, my oldest, is often off doing her own thing and she engages her little sister, Ava (affectionately known as VaVa) when she wants to.  :0)  She loves her little sister and she always wants her around, but sometimes she doesn’t act like it.

Izzie has a habit of exploring parts of the house that VaVa is not allowed to entertain.  One of those places is the stairs.

Izzie has enough skill and stamina to play on the stairs, within reason, but Va, not so much.  She gives us a scare every time she goes near the stairs because she is apt to fall and we don’t want her to get hurt.  She enjoys being on the stairs but she could be happily playing, giving no thought to the stairs and then her sister will sashay her little self over there and it’s like kingdom come.  Oh the stairs!  My favorite place!  And it begins.

It’s the same with the kitchen cabinets.  Iz takes a peek in and the Va is like oh, yeah, what’s in there anyway?  Let’s explore!  Iz takes to my blinds and Va is there, the dutiful supporting lady, ready to do whatever it is that they are trying to do as they rattle the wooden-like slats against the doors and windows.  Even though she’s only two, we try to impress upon Iz the importance of being a good leader and setting a good example for Av because she’s watching Izzie and wants to do everything that Izzie does.  Iz doesn’t quite get it, but she’s trying.

It’s funny how accountability can work that way.  It seems that most often we think about accountability in a very self-centered manner;  how we can use our relationships to make us answerable for the way we live and help us accomplish goals and better ourselves.   But, like it or not, we are always answerable to someone about something.  Our behavior should compel people to the good and we have to be careful to live like we know this.  God requires that we love one another and that we take care of each other.  One way to do this is by the example we set for others to follow.  It could mean freedom or bondage for someone.  It’s such a big deal.

19 Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.  (Matthew 5:19 NIV)

Mommy Goodness!

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A big, fat, hearty Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers of the world!!!! :0)  No matter how you are called upon daily to serve as a mom, it’s hard work being us, for reals and it is my sincere pleasure to wish you a happy day today and also to pray prayers of strength, love, courage, and deep relationship with God through Christ Jesus as you walk this walk of selflessness and service.  As glorious and as sweet as days like today can be, I have learned that you’ll need Him every step of the way!

I have had a great day so far.  I was greeted by mother’s day wishes starting around 6ish.  Phone calls and texts galore!  Ok.  People.  Thank you, but for reals??!!??  That early in the morn??!!  I’m a mom!  I needs my sleep!!  :0)  joking. . . kinda . . .  ;0)

My Huni’s alarm slapped my ears at 6:30, like it does relentlessly morning after morning and so resigning that I wouldn’t be sleeping in on this Mother’s Day, I hopped on my laptop and found some wonderfully encouraging words for any mama’s soul in my inbox and on the Gypsy Mama’s site.

I love (in)courage and receive emails from the site fresh and hot to my inbox daily.   This one: http://www.incourage.me/2012/05/what-we-wish-we-could-tell-you-mamas.html was waiting for me this morning and was a wonderful way to start my Mother’s Day, thinking of all moms, not just those like me.  So good.  Please do check it out.  Guaranteed blessings there.

The Gypsy Mama offered up something different but it was just. what. I. needed.  For reals.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand there’s a giveaway!!  For free!!  Check it out:  http://thegypsymama.com/2012/05/and-then-i-broke-up-with-myself-six-years-ago/

Went to church service this morning.  I love the body of believers that we worship with here.  Really, truly, our lives have been changed in ways that we could never have imagined ever since our first Sunday worshiping there.  And today was no different.  Love, love, love it when my pastor’s wife speaks.  She speaks truth and spoke it this morning like always.  However just before she did, our worship leader Pastor Jon Owens and his wife Kelley shared a bit of themselves with us.  I do not know them personally, but I really wish I did.  Especially after this. They have an amazing testimony and have been used by God to help inspire some movement in our lives without even knowing it.  Oh, this video . . . it hints to none of that.  Just how amazingly talented  and . . .  fun they are.  How can I describe this . . . .hmmmm . . . I don’t even know.  You know what, just watch it.  You’ll never be the same . . .  :0)


So, for the rest of the day I will eat and rest.  A dear friend has made plans to drop by later.  I expect we’ll laugh and talk the evening away.

I asked for a book called Mother Letters as a gift for today.

 I cannot wait to dig in.  Check it out for yourself or gift it to someone else.  Find out more here:  http://motherletters.com/ebook/

Now, for my mama:  I love you mommy.  I know that a great part of who I am, God used your hands and heart to mold.  I miss you so much.  I wish I could see your face everyday and be closer to you, to take care of you and nurture you into your destiny the way that you did with me.  But I trust God with you because before you were mine, you were so sweetly and securely His.   May He ever love you and use you until He calls you.  You’ve been a great mother–no matter the outcome of me and my sister’s lives.  Now I get to have you as my friend.  Thank you for being willing to stick around as my friend.  In my absence, I send you my heart, my love, and this gap-toothed smile that you so generously shared with  me.

I love you mommy!!!!

xoxoxoxoxoxo!!

Never Will a Rock Cry Out In My Place!

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 37-38Right at the crest, where Mount Olives begins its descent, the whole crowd of disciples burst into enthusiastic praise over all the mighty works they had witnessed:

Blessed is he who comes,
the king in God’s name!
All’s well in heaven!
Glory in the high places!

39Some Pharisees from the crowd told him, “Teacher, get your disciples under control!”

40But he said, “If they kept quiet, the stones would do it for them, shouting praise.” (Luke 19:37-40, The Message)

Move over rocks!!  I got this one!  :0)

171.  Kool Moe Va

172.  biggest cheeeeeeeeeese from the littlest

173.  penny wishes

174.  granddaddies

175.  birthday cupcakes . . .scrumdillyum!!

176.  DQ surprise!

177.  TBP intern class of 2012 . . . love, love, love those girls

178.  my first trip to the crepe truck courtesy of Precious, accompanied by Jamaica Swagu

179.  all gone  :0)

180.  excitedly watching Grandma and Granddaddy unload their car

181.  Dragonfly Jones VaVa

182.  watching her be happiest

183.  late night cuddles and cosby show

. . . and I’m only just getting started . . . check the list and join me:  https://pamelluce.com/my-one-thousand/

Wednesdays with Beth: The Law of Kindness pt 2

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Chuckled to myself about those “fights” I have with people in my mind.  I prepare or replay the whole conversation and all the things I’d say to get somebody right,  “Aunt Esther style” . . . giving little thought to how, most often, I’m so wrong. . .

Check it out:  http://lifetoday.org/video/the-law-of-kindness-part-2

Photo taken from google,  jameslogancourier.org

Marriage Letters: On Outside Influences

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Huni,

Outside influences.  This is a good one.  Well, you took away my cable.  All the good influences are now so far from me . . . I can’t hear from them like I used to . . .Kardashians, Braxtons, Ice -T and Coco . . .  :0)     joking . . . tee hee hee . . .  :0D

I’m thinking of the sweet comment you made this past Saturday about one of your closest friends, wishing that he and his wife lived closer.  I wish they lived closer too.

I’m thinking of another of your close friends who has moved away and how I saw you grow and change as the two of you grew even closer while he was here.  I’ll miss him and his wife when they have completely transitioned to their new city.

I’m thinking of the couples with whom we spend our Thursday nights, the older couples in our life and other friends who form a circle around us and cover us with their love, encouragement and prayer.  The Lord has been so good to us, blessing us with people who love us, enjoy spending time with us, pour into us and are honest with us.  We have manifestations of Proverbs 27:17  all around.  And we are sharper.

As we’re being thoughtful and prayerful about this next transition in our lives, it’s important that we have relationships with people we can trust, with whom we can share what the Lord is doing in our lives and in our hearts.  There are so many outside influences clamoring to taint our bond, so we have to cling to Christ and be open to the people He gives us and the ways He chooses to love us and guide us through them.

We are a reflection of each other and our support groups are a reflection of who we want to be and what we can become.  If we want to be great, we have to surround ourselves with greatness.  Influence is a choice, but the people and objects that influence us can be subtle and therefore blur our ability to determine when something has changed the way we think or relate.  We need to be careful and protect our hearts and minds through prayer and the word.  If our marriage is a ministry, and through it the Lord can reach people, change and save their lives, we need to be driven closer to Him and closer to each other so that we can show up for Him and be effective.

I’m so grateful for who you are and the kind of people you attract.  We have a beautiful life partly because of the beautiful people in it.

Loving loving you,

pamela t.

This concludes the marriage letters for now.  Please visit http://therunamuck.com/2012/04/29/marriage-letters-on-outside-influences/  to read more letters.  The letter written by Amber today was just plain good.  Seriously.  A must read.