Children’s children are a crown to the aged,
and parents are the pride of their children.Proverbs 17:6 (NIV)
Happy Grandparents Day, Grandma, Granddaddy, Nana Phee, PawPaw, GG, and GG Mama! We count it a sheer blessing to have so many of you to celebrate today and we love you.
~Izzie, Ava, Emmanuel & Pamela
Please join me and The Sunday Community at Jumping Tandem for more of God’s word and inspiration.
Joining Lisa Jo Baker, aka, The Gypsy Mama for Five Minute Friday today. Check out my post below and click over to her page for more really cool posts rendered in a five minute dash!
Graceful . . .
When I was a young girl, I took African Dance lessons. It remains, in my mind, as one of the best times in my life.
I was good. No, ahem, I was goooooooood, honey! I had so much grace, freedom, poise, purpose and passion in my movements. I was the girl with the long brown frame who used her whole body to make each movement beautiful, as if the movement itself was just a part of my natural rhythm and sway.
I continued with the dance troop for years. Followed it everywhere it went. Danced downtown at festivals. Danced in plays. Danced at Spirit Square. Made the paper. Mama still has the clipping. Me on the front, in the African garb looking all authentic and official.
And then classes were offered right up the street from my house. It was like I belonged to the dance and the dance belonged to me. We were meant for each other. That troop and moving my body like that, it became a release. It helped me see the beautiful parts about myself and love them, own them, appreciate them.
Then Mama and Daddy divorced. So many things changed. Mama didn’t want to live in that house anymore, even though Daddy had long left and the air was freer to breathe in since he took so much of the tension with him.
So we moved.
And I stopped dancing.
I haven’t been able to dance like that ever since.
And believe me I have tried. ;0)
And even though I sometimes think that all I will ever have are the memories of a time when I was a great dancer, all graceful and sure . . . when I hear the sound of a drum beat, I am reminded that with all the things I lost back then, I never lost my gracefulness.
So, this year must be THE year to get married! Who knew!?! I have several family members and friends who have agreed and set a date to enter into covenant with another person this year. In 2012 I am a part of 5 weddings. Yep, 5. The first two of five weddings have already occurred with the most recent being one of my little brothers, thus my mysterious silence for the past two weeks. The first was for a dear Fran of mine from college. She’s probably one of the sweetest people I know and I was so honored that she has cherished our relationship through the years so much that she would desire to enter into this covenant with my prayers and support. So, I figured I’d share what I’ve been up to by sharing some of what happened with the weddings!
My Fran, Ayana, and her husband J.R.were married in Charleston, SC on July 7, 2012 at the Charleston Aquarium. She had a short, sweet ceremony with the Charleston Harbor as the backdrop. Even though there we were in the middle of the fierce July Charleston heat, there was a cool breeze blowing off from the water, at times so strong that we had to anchor ourselves or be blown away by more than just the love and beauty of it all! So, here are a few flicks from the day:
So pretty, right? And again:
Planning a wedding can be so stressful. And my dear Fran Ayana has waited a long time to meet her special someone, fall in love, don a beautiful gown and mark the start of their lives together forever with a beautiful day. It was so good to see her smiling and having such a good time that day.
My huni and I had a good time as well. I was a bridesmaid and that can keep you pretty busy but I was able to hook up with him and have some fun taking a few flicks, being our fabulous, zany selves. There we are! The fierce bridesmaid and her hot boo! (I wanted to write, “the fierce bridesmaid and her fierce boo,” but I figured he might have a problem with me using the adjective “fierce” to describe him . . . .) :0)
Another fun, fun, fun part of the weekend was hooking up with all of the other bridesmaids. You can tell a woman by her Frans, and Ayana is just so abundantly blessed because she has some WONDERFUL women flowering her life!!
A couple of the women that Ayana chose as bridesmaids, turned out to be women I knew from undergrad–which is where Ayana and I met. We went to different schools but we were in the same campus ministry and met at a retreat. (this same organization is also where I met my huni!) So there were some women there who were a part of the ministry, a woman there who I actually went to undergrad with and had no idea that she even knew Ayana and there was a woman there who attends the same church that I do and we had never met until she came to my house for the bridal shower that we had for Ayana! Craziness! Sweet, sweet, craziness!
I was also able to see another of my good Frans, Quiana, who was there to witness the union between Ayana and JR. Please send prayers up for Qui. She’s getting married in September and if you’re married, ever planned a wedding, or anything associated with the two, you know how pressing and full this time can be. I’m praying joy, grace, favor, peace, and love for her and her fiance, Josiah, during this time and beyond. Please agree with me on her behalf.
SO here are the last few flicks of the girls and me:
Good, good times. Really. We had so much fun. Sweet love, new friendships, good food, dancing, laughing, woooo! It doesn’t get any better than that!!
Just about a week ago my little brother took a lady by the hand, said some originally written vows, poured out his love and decided to spend his happily ever after with Mrs. Brendalyn Thompson. The two were married July 28 in Durham, NC and had a nice, contemporary wedding true to their own unique style. We were all swept away by their ceremony and danced the night away with the happy couple. I didn’t get to take as many pictures of this event but I definitely wanted to share the few that I have:
Boooooooooooooooooooooooom!! It’s official!! Wooooop Woooooop!!!
Big, sincere, loud, congratulations from my heart to both couples.
Seeing two people unite and decide to share their lives together can be one of the most beautiful events to enjoy. It is sentimental on so many different levels as it is an incredibly important and big decision for any one person to make. Almost every woman I know wants this. She wants someone with whom to share all of her life, for the rest of her life. It’s a holy thing, marriage. It’s a covenant. It’s one of God’s many dwelling places and it is an instant ministry through the testimony that it offers its witnesses. Everyone is watching. Everyone. Including our enemy. It’s no small wonder marriage is so hard.
21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam; and while he slept, He took one of his ribs or a part of his side and closed up the [place with] flesh.
22 And the rib or part of his side which the Lord God had taken from the man He built up and made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.
23 Then Adam said, This [creature] is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of a man.
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence.
3 Now the serpent was more subtle and crafty than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made. And he [Satan] said to the woman, Can it really be that God has said, You shall not eat from every tree of the garden? (Genesis 2:21-3:1)
Ever since Huni pointed it out to me, it has done nothing less than intrigued me that after the man and woman are united, free, naked and not embarrassed, having forsaken all others, moving in complete oneness and in agreement . . . we meet the serpent. And from the moment he enters the picture, he begins his evil regime to steal, kill and destroy like only he can.
We know what he’s all about so I won’t give him any more shine than that. I’ll simply say this: After we’ve cried with the couple, laughed with them and celebrated their decision, they really need our prayers. Actually from the moment we learn of their intention of courtship and all throughout the life of the marriage, they need our prayers! They need for us to hold them up and support them by speaking truth, kind words, and pouring into and onto them goodness, love and mercy as they move through life together knowing who their enemy is. And Frans, he is tireless. So should be our prayers.
Please pray that people would honor God in their marriages, their families and their lives together. Every time you want to open your mouth to criticize or critique another person’s marriage, pray. Submit yourself and your loved ones to Christ and trust Him to do the necessary work in you and them. Don’t let satan use you to disrupt God’s work–whether you agree with it or not. And Frans, I am talking to myself here! Wooo!
There are times when Huni and I get into it and at just about that moment when I am about to totally let my flesh have her way, spotlight, microphone, music and all, I get a glimpse of satan, reclined, knocking back root beer floats, eating hot buttered popcorn enjoying the show. And I come to a screeching halt———MAD, because I forgot who the real enemy is–it’s not huni. It’s satan. How quickly we forget.
We need each others prayers and support. Please choose to participate in giving God glory, not in helping satan fool us all.
Today I went to visit an old Fran from college. Kim Morrisette is not just any old Fran. She’s the woman that God used to water and point toward the Son, the seeds that my mama had sewn into me, raising me in Christ Jesus, knowing Him as my Lord and savior. I was so broken, so sad and yet I was searching for something big and deep and real and although I was confused about many things, I knew that what I needed and wanted was only going to be satisfied by God. So Kim led me and a group of girls in our dorm, Greene Hall, through bible study. Our friendship deepened and she went on to disciple me and train me to do the same thing for other women on campus. She poured into me and facilitated further training with my roomie and me as we helped to lead a new, small campus ministry.
I didn’t get to spend a very long time with her– I teased her about living out in John’s barnyard (she lives quite a distance from me in a beautiful farmhouse “out in the sticks”) and that took a bit of our time away because good ole me left a little later than I intended and then I made it all the way to her street and got lost–but the time I was able to just be around her and meet her children and see her face and see what her life is like now, was so good. I missed Kim and I am so glad that during this season of my life, the Lord is making a way for us to connect again.
Within the past week I’ve been in close connection with people who have lost loved ones. Some have been traumatic and the other quiet but all have been hard and sad. I almost feel like times are very uncertain right now; you can’t know if the last time you see someone will be the last time. . . how much will change with people between now and the next time you see them, if you are so fortunate to see them again? So much fear and uncertainty. And although it’s reasonable for me to feel and think this way, it’s not the way of truth. It’s not Philippians 4:8-9 and it won’t draw me closer to my savior, it’ll just keep me questioning Him, and doubting Him.
I enjoyed spending time with Kim so much today because it was a reminder for me that there have been other times when I thought that God had left me, forgotten about me, wasn’t working on my behalf, didn’t have a plan for my life except to repeat what had been done in my family generations past or just plain old didn’t care. But Kim came to me at the most crucial time in my undergraduate career. I was on the brink of utter hopelessness and I needed to know that all that mama taught me about God was real and that there was more. As I look back to then and see what my life is now, in those times when I felt so shaky and uncovered, God, in fact, did have a plan and He was working it out for my good, even when I didn’t always sense it. Seeing Kim was such a sweet reminder of His grace. God is so good. In times of tragedy, pain, sorrow, loss and confusion it’s good to have a blessed assurance– that firm, sure, sweet reminder that He is in control, He knows what He’s doing, His word is still true, He is trustworthy, He’s got me and my whole world in the palm of His hands. I am safe there.
I’m sure that there is someone out there reading this who just needs a reminder that He is good and that He is a loving Father. Please, be of good service to yourself and think about your life–what it was, what it is, and what it could be. He’s there. And He’s been there the whole time. If your waters are smooth right now or if they are rough, this is a good time to know the God you serve and His characteristics. Do yourself a favor. Remind yourself of all that He’s done. And rest. Assured.
E 2 tha T,
That’s what your friends call you, right? Or something related. . . ET, E, Easy . . .
I wanna be your friend. Your best, good friend. yeah. Like Forrest and Bubba.
When we first met, friendship was a requirement for me. I needed to know that you’d stick around and try to get to know me and find value in friendship with me before I let you pursue me for love. That was my deal with basically every guy I dated but you were the one who actually took me seriously and dug through my rough places to find the diamonds that I worked so hard to hide while I protected myself from everything and everyone. Even you. You stuck it out with me. You decided that if it took befriending me to get the chance to love me, then you’d be Stevie and I’d be Dionne and we’d make them think we wrote the song! Hey! And you. were. my. friend. For reals. Before and during our dating relationship, we had such a sweet, deep friendship. But . . . (yeah, there’s a “but”) . . .it’s different now.
I hear you on the phone with your friends, and I hear how hard you laugh and how much you share and I gotta admit, I get a little jealous. I don’t feel included anymore. I don’t feel as close to you as I know we could be and as I close to you as I want to be. And I hear you say that I shouldn’t expect for our friendship to look like my friendships with the women in my life. (How many times have you said, I am not Chasity!!!) And I get that. I do. And it’s not that I want our friendship to look like any other friendship I have but there are aspects of those relationships that I expect to see in our friendship because, I feel, our connection should be greater and deeper than any other connection I have with anyone else on earth. And when our relationship doesn’t look like our friendship is strong, it’s discouraging because it’s a reminder of how things are different from what they used to be and that we aren’t as close as I want us to be . . .as I feel we should be. What are we gonna do?
I don’t want to replace your other friends. You need them, just like I need my friends. And you know how much all of my friends mean to me. What it is that I want, is my buddy back. We have allowed some very good, good things to come in and squish all of the room for friendship, out. When was the last time we played Phase 10? Marcus still has our tennis game . . .we could play that! I know that I can lean on you and talk to you about anything and I know that we can have a really, really fun time together, laughing until crying and talking late into the night, but it’s not our way anymore. We happen upon these moments, or they hunt us down through circumstances but we don’t run after opportunities to find joy in each other. Marriage is a gift for so many reasons and it’s a serious matter but I think that one of the reasons we have each other is to make life a little bit sweeter. Friendship does that for me. And I want us to be friends. Best, good friends. Like Forrest and Bubba, David and Jonathan, Rose, Blanche, Sophia and Dorothy.
But really. What are we gonna do? I can’t blame you, I’ve played a big part in this too. It was impressed upon me a few months ago that I need to be more vulnerable with you and trust you more. uggggggggghhhhhhhh. Two very difficult things for me to do, but I think they’re so difficult because I keep looking at you and your limitations and not the spirit of God who resides inside of you and empowers you, eliminating your limitations. Even though you can make me madder than a wet hornet, you can bring me joy like no other. And I just want to enjoy you more. I don’t want our marriage to slip into the mundane and then glide into this survival, day to day mode where we just take care of each other and our children, but we don’t fully enjoy our lives together. It seems like a sure indication that a marriage is headed down that road is when the friendship starts to wan. I know that we are friends. There’s not doubt about that. And I know that we have a good time together, but I want it to be better, richer, funner! ;0) So, here. Let’s have a do-over-midway-start-over. E 2 tha T, will you be my best good friend? Check yes or no.
I love you!!
pamela t.
Oh, Huni.
Seven years. Wow. Seven years ago today we trotted our little scared but in love selves down that wide aisle, ready to give ourselves away all for the chance to love each other the rest of our lives. We had no idea what our tomorrow would look like but we were sure that no matter what the view, we wanted to see it together.
Remember that wave of fear that rushed over us when we stepped into the vestibule, after we said I do and you planted a big one on me? Emmanuel! We were sooooooo scared! Who’d a thunk it? And I’m not even sure why. Those few moments alone, without all the hustle and bustle of making preparations for the wedding, without the swarm of family and friends excitedly supporting and anticipating the union, all we had was ourselves and all this love that was supposed to get us from there to eternity.
We have since learned that love, as great and important as it is, is not enough. You need my respect as well as my love and I have learned that the more I love you and respect you, the more I participate in the Lord’s work of making you the man that He’s purposed for you to become. I apologize for all the ways that I have not loved you and the times that I allowed myself to think that I knew better at the risk of disrespecting you. I’m really sorry, Emmanuel. Our marriage is a big deal to me but I am only now opening up to allow God to heal all the broken bits of my heart and while He’s doing major surgery on me (which is probably going to last a lifetime) I’ll have these bouts of hard-to-love-me and hard-to-see-my-love. It’s a side effect of brokenness. But I’m in the fray. And I ain’t going nowhere. And I’m grateful to have a partner who’s as committed to this thing as I am.
So. Here we are. Seven years later. No longer afraid,well, at least not for the same reasons that were there seven years ago. . .
You’re my gift. I get so humbled when I think about my little girl self and see the woman that I am today. God is so great. He’s so good, so incredibly sweet to me to have built me to be a woman of great strength, wisdom, and power in my own right and then put a little polish on me when he gave me you. I’m a movement by myself but I’m a force when we’re together. ;0)
I’ll take this seventh anniversary as a chance to tighten my grip on your hand as we move from waltzing to marching into our purpose. And the beauty of it is that in this season, we’re a great deal clearer about what it is and how to do it. SO here, we go! So excited to see what this next chapter brings.
loving loving you,
pamela t.
Saw this today and I thought to myself, “My Frans must see this!!!!” . . . a new perspective on summer reading. . .
37-38Right at the crest, where Mount Olives begins its descent, the whole crowd of disciples burst into enthusiastic praise over all the mighty works they had witnessed:
Blessed is he who comes,
the king in God’s name!
All’s well in heaven!
Glory in the high places!39Some Pharisees from the crowd told him, “Teacher, get your disciples under control!”
40But he said, “If they kept quiet, the stones would do it for them, shouting praise.” (Luke 19:37-40, The Message)
Move over rocks!! I got this one! :0)
171. Kool Moe Va
172. biggest cheeeeeeeeeese from the littlest
173. penny wishes
174. granddaddies
175. birthday cupcakes . . .scrumdillyum!!
176. DQ surprise!
177. TBP intern class of 2012 . . . love, love, love those girls
178. my first trip to the crepe truck courtesy of Precious, accompanied by Jamaica Swagu
179. all gone :0)
180. excitedly watching Grandma and Granddaddy unload their car
181. Dragonfly Jones VaVa
182. watching her be happiest
183. late night cuddles and cosby show
. . . and I’m only just getting started . . . check the list and join me: https://pamelluce.com/my-one-thousand/
There are many things to complain about. Most often when we complain it seems so legitimate. Righteous even. But it’s not. And it never, ever makes anything better. At least not for me. See, watch:
1. I am so tired.
2. I couldn’t complete any of the things I wanted to get done today.
3. That girl was so rude to be using her phone while trying to serve me at the check-out line at the grocery store.
4. I’m getting so frustrated with my family and all of our drama.
5. More dishes in the sink for me to wash?! I just finished washing two piles!
Anybody feeling better? Me neither. Okay, now watch this:
150. While my girls were napping, I enjoyed reading a page turner and it was thrilling!
151. Spending time laughing with Nit and KiKi.
152. Seeing Iz light up at the sight of her cousins, no matter how many times she sees them.
153. Peanut butter Cheerios.
154. A chance to see God move on behalf of my family as I intercede on their behalf.
155. Hot, running water with which to wash my dishes.
156. A visit from Mini, complete with dinner, conversation and giggles.
157. DeeDee’s trust and vulnerability.
158. KiKi’s new journey to NCCU.
159. Calvin’s new journey to ECU.
160. Victory seen on the hopeful faces of two soon-to-be high school graduates, both college bound.
161. Restored relationships.
162. Jamaica, serving me ice cream while she ate liver.
163. Leaping into the wind at the sensing of the presence of courage and fearlessness . . .couldn’t miss the chance . . .couldn’t let them pass me by.
164. Lisa and Sarah.
165. Growth.
166. Determination to pay down more debt.
167. A plan.
168. A weekend home with my family.
169. Honesty.
170. Expectation.
and the list goes on . . . try counting blessings the next time you want to complain. . . I really do feel so much better!!
As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible. Joy is always possible.Whenever, meaning–now ; wherever, meaning–here. The holy grail of joy is not in some exotic location or some emotional mountain peak experience. The joy wonder could be here! Here, in the messy, piercing ache of now, joy might be–unbelievably–possible! ~Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts
See my running list here: https://pamelluce.com/my-one-thousand/
photo found on google, from myfitclinic.com
I am Thanksgiving Day full of joy from this weekend! Friday was my birthday so my parents (in-law) came up to spend the weekend taking care of the girls so that I could rest and my huni took the day off to hang out with me. (sweeeet, right?) We saw a movie, did some light shopping, ate frozen yogurt and topped off the night having dinner with friends.
Then for Saturday he had secretly spoken to my family and friends and arranged a surprise party in my honor!! It was wonderful!! We ate some yummy food, danced, danced, danced, laughed, laughed and laughed some more and just had an all around good time. One of my sisters came in from out of town, my aunts and cousins pulled together and made the food, decorated my home and really set the atmosphere for a book lover’s themed party. And then, some of them pitched in and bought me a Nook!!! (cheering, smiling, crying, fist pumping, so excited!!) I am so grateful for my family and friends. This weekend was wonderful.
I know that there are great things happening in other people’s lives. At the same time there are people with great, basic needs and a Nook may seem such a trivial thing to cheer about. This was not necessarily a milestone birthday . . .yet . . .I am so happy and so grateful because some people I care about took a bit of their time and resources to show how much they care about me. I needed that.
I often get so caught up in trying to deny my need for people and my longing for connection. It’s a rallying theme with many familiar mantras: “Be strong!,” “Be independent!,” “Go for yours!”, do whatever you can to uphold the front that you are sufficient in and of yourself. Deny vulnerability because vulnerability is a sure sign of weakness, and weakness is not favorable. Yowza!!! And it is this very attitude that has made me feign strength and nurture pridefulness. I feel so much better when I offer help than I do when I receive it. The issue is that this has little to do with my tender, giving heart but more to do with the rancid stench of pride compromising anything good that I attempt to do. And what I’ve noticed is that I can be this way with God. (ouch) I remember one time talking to Emmanuel (my husband) telling him that I didn’t want to have to run to God for every little thing; I wanted to be able to show Him that I could handle some things on my own. (covering my face with my hands) Missing the big problem in my statement? God never intended for me to live independent from Him. He wants me to depend on Him for every little thing. And most times He’ll use people to help me and give me what I want and need. If I isolate myself and set myself up as this super-Pam who needs no one and can handle everything, I dismiss God, I dismiss His people and I dismiss myself because I am not giving myself a chance to receive from God.
This birthday weekend, my need wasn’t gifts, neither food nor shelter. My needs were rest, peace, joy, and love. And the Lord saw fit to use my family and friends to fill me to the measure. And I reveled in it. And I am full. Thanksgiving Day full. For reals.
pamelluce.com 